harvard swim star courtney otto’s new personal best
As a competitive swimmer for Harvard University, Courtney Otto’s star was rapidly rising when a medical diagnosis left her completely dry docked. When we originally asked her to share her story, the idea was to illustrate the many benefits of yoga in healing a back injury. As we spoke and she wrote, however, it became apparent that this was a much bigger story than physical rehabilitation, one about using the benefits of the principles of yoga to heal her soul.
When I was approached to write this story, the intention was to share a story of injury and overcoming it to achieve unequivocal success. However, in many athletic careers things don’t always go the way they’re planned or envisioned.
I am a rising senior on Harvard’s swimming and diving team (HWSD), specializing in the 200m Butterfly, and 400m Individual Medley. There was a point when my swimming career was going exactly how I desired. All through high school, and my first year and a half of college, I felt in complete control over my athletic outcomes.
At just 5’3” I may have not been the most naturally suited for swimming, but I had completely bought into the whole ‘hard work beats talent if talent doesn’t work hard’ mantra. In my teens I quickly worked my way onto the national stage, was a member of a US National Junior team, and had an amazing list of the highest quality athletic and academic schools to choose from. I felt so lucky, especially when my success continued into college.
My freshman year I was a conference champion, and qualified to represent Harvard at the NCAA championships. That summer I had the meet of my life at the Olympic trials; there, 9th was my highest placing. I was right on the cusp of making the U.S. National Team, the next step in making my dreams of an Olympic team spot a reality—an experience I’ve dreamt about since I was 5-years-old.
One morning in January 2013, during our yearly training trip in Puerto Rico, I woke up after a tough weights session with an orange-sized hump in the lower left side of my back. Not only was my back insanely tight, the tightness continued down my left leg making it nearly impossible to swim, much less do any other form of activity.
The pain—and the hump—refused to subside for the duration of the trip. Doctors visits were scheduled; I felt like my injury was absolutely boggling their minds. None of the medicine, shots or holistic treatments did more than mask some of the pain.
In the summer I was diagnosed with a congenital nerve syndrome. The doctors thought I would be strong enough by summer 2014—a year after my diagnosis, and a year and a half after the initial onset—to be in shape for the U.S. Open in California this past August. But injuries like mine to take their own sweet time to heal, and after really listening to my body, I decided I didn’t want to risk pushing the healing process.
I didn’t just come to this realization on a whim. Learning how to deal with the physical effects of cortisone shots, weekly trigger point injections, physical therapy, and addictive pain meds, while also trying to manage the mental hardship of not knowing when/if I would be able to continue my career was a lot for me to manage. Actually, that’s an understatement. I felt absolutely helpless more times than I would like to admit.
Swimming was and is more than a sport to me. I let it define who I was prior to being injured, and when the outcome wasn’t in my control, I felt lost. However, I’ve had some amazing teachers throughout this time—my coaches, yoga teachers, and teammates have all mentored me in different ways.
It’s incredible to me that even through such a long process, these individuals never gave up on me. They talked me through staying grounded and positive despite an unknown. I was taught to listen to myself and to my body, and through their guidance I learned how to expand my horizons and find happiness regardless of what happens in my career.
This net of support has let me turn my injury into such a positive experience. I can’t define my importance through athletics right now, so I’ve learned to move in a spirit of gratefulness and appreciation for how blessed a life I do lead. I let myself open up to a whirlwind love affair, and after ten months of dating, we’re now engaged! I’ve cultivated amazing friendships with people outside the realm of the swimming world, and I’ve had time to actually go for walks and take camping trips, exploring new hobbies that I absolutely love. One of my new goals for my swimming career now is to leave room for new interests that bring positive energy.
This fall I started my last year of NCAA eligibility. I am so excited to be back competing for Harvard. Our next big meet is an invitational in December where the goal is to qualify for the NCAA championships in March. We also have our Conference Championships in February where we will be defending our Ivy League Title.
My goals—from the Olympics to being an NCAA champion and making the National Team, as well as incorporating a more balanced lifestyle into all of that—and the desire to be the best are still prominent. Now, though, I’m more aware and at peace with the fact that eventually swimming will leave me behind, regardless of how far I make it.
I’ve learned to have fulfillment that isn’t solely defined by my successes. Internal satisfaction determined upon whether I choose to be present and happy is such a much better way to live. I have a lot of work left in order to truly just ‘be,’ but the process of getting there has been so rewarding.
Follow Courtney and the amazing team of men and women she swims with on Instagram, Twitter, their Facebook page, and via their website.
A Harvard student-athlete, Courtney studies psychology and philosophy in addition to her daily dose of training. She is inspired by the peace and tranquility of all things nature and has a childlike sense of giddiness for sunsets and sunrises. Follow her and the documentation of her guilty pleasures (i.e. Trader Joe’s coffee and Gilmore Girls) on Instagram and Twitter.
