True Grit

I’ve been a single mom for the better part of a year. I could say it was my choice, but in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't. I could get into the messy details, but I won't. Someone once said 'the past is a story you are telling yourself. It isn't happening anymore. One day you'll realize the story you're telling is just words.” And besides, this isn't about what happened, its about what happens now.
In the forms I check the box 'head of household' along with 'single'. I think about how before, I didn't realize all the things there were to worry about; truly blissful in my ignorance. Now I have so many logistical fears. Paying the rent, buying food, changing the oil in the car, cleaning house, and caring for a toddler without splitting myself into two separate halves. While I worry about the details, I am lucky in that worrying about my daughter has been kept somewhat to a minimum.
Statistically speaking, she will have lots of obstacles to overcome. But not in spite of our situation, but rather because of it, my daughter is going to be tougher and more resilient. She'll have the grit and work ethic that I never did, until now. Not because I’ve short-changed her by working full-time, or sending her to daycare, or having to hand make a costume for Halloween instead of buying one. Plenty of kids face those kind of things every day, with two parents, natch.
My daughter is going to have strength because she’s seen it modeled by me her whole life. Mommy got out of bed, took care of her, cooked and cleaned, paid the bills, and handled herself with grace in the face of obstacles.
This post by Jessica got me thinking about what aspirational mothering can look like online. I read lots of 'mommy blogs' and I don't see anything that resembles my life. Maybe someone will see this and know that they aren't alone. I know I could use that sometimes.