catching up: on balancing work and family

when you are balancing work and family (or trying to), some days just work better than others. let’s be real… some days are just crap. but then there are days that are made for remembering. there are days that seem to be made of perfection, whose radiance helps to even out the crap.

we had one such perfect day last weekend and, despite some less-than-perfect days and moments since, I am still basking in the glow of a day spent exploring, hiking, and and laughing with my sweet family.

it’s been a long transition into the school year around here, it seems, and family has come before work more often than not. meanwhile, there are things that need done. beyond just boring spreadsheets and emails and site updates, there are patterns and ideas and words jumbled in my head.

“you and me both, sister,” you say. I know it. it feels like we’re all looking to find that perfect balance.

but as we try balancing work and family, what are we looking to do? maybe it is very basic – yet no less complex – a balance between what we want for ourselves and what we feel that we need to give to others. it’s not a revolutionary idea ;) but it does give me a slightly different perspective on the idea of finding balance. maybe it’s not so much about a destination, but about the journey… about the ups and downs, the backs and forths.

there are days when life just feels hard, when you need the comfort of someone. and there are days when, especially as a parent, what you need takes a back seat to someone else. for me, the key to finding a balance in this requires two seemingly simple things…

be mindful

do the kids want to play that board game but you have things you need to get done? make a decision. pick one, and be there for it. I’ve tried a million times to do something with the girls when my mind is really on emails I need to deal with and it just doesn’t work. play the board game or finish up those emails, really either is ok. commit to where you are in that moment and don’t try to be in two places at once, because then everyone loses.

be prepared for change

be aware that a great day, even a perfect day, well… it doesn’t mean that you have it figured out. it just means that day worked. tomorrow is a new day and a different journey, and a chance to learn something new. what worked today might not work tomorrow, and that’s ok. be flexible and ready for things to be different.

of course, all of this is really simple to say. well, maybe. it’s taken me a bit to get this all straightened out in my head, and this isn’t exactly the post I thought I’d write here when I started working on it days ago. but as much as I questioned that process, the actual DOING of these things… well, that’s a full time job.

when you get overwhelmed with all of this, know that there’s a third thing. and it’s probably more important than anything else…

it’s all an illusion

we’re not really looking for balance, we’re looking for the illusion of balance. there are so many moving parts, most of which you cannot control. sure, there are perfect days here and there where everything seems to fall into place. but even those days, in between beautiful hikes and collecting fall leaves and eating pumpkin cake after dinner, someone will suddenly decide that life will certainly end if they don’t get a drink of water right this second. or you’ll get a work email you absolutely can’t wait until you’re back home to deal with. these things happen, and you can’t stop them. what you can do is control is how you let them effect you.

there is no perfectly balanced life, and expecting to figure it all out is sheer madness. but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try, because the journey is worth it.

happy stitching!
xo, rachael

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