Words I can’t get away with

Being an American in London is funny sometimes. And especially when it comes to vocabulary. I’ve worked with Brits long enough to have countless words sneak into my lexicon… especially descriptive ones of the positive variety. I love saying things are “lovely” and “brilliant”. I say I live in a flat rather than an apartment. I use the word “quite” a lot for emphasis. I spell everything with an “s” instead of a “z”.

But there are some things I still cannot get away with – and I would argue, nor should most expats. Some words should just be reserved for those raised with a British accent. Here is my current catalogue…

Words Americans should not say the British way

“veg” – short for vegetables. Americans, you are allowed to say veggies, not veg. Brits, it doesn’t sound very appetizing.

“ladybird” – a ladybug. Easy one: its not a bird.

“chuffed” – meaning thrilled, pleased, etc. Just sounds wrong. (see also: “chuffed to bits”)

“arse” – you don’t want to be like

“courgette” – LONG LIVE THE ZUCCHINI (addendum: courgette is just fine if you are speaking French)

“hoover” – Hoover is a brand. And it makes me think of horses.

“pud” – dessert. Just… No. Americans should not say this. We can’t make it sound delicious. (Nor can the Brits to be honest, but at least its genuine from them.)

“squash” – as in a flavored syrup to put in water, like a cordial. To Americans, squash is a Thanksgiving food. I honestly thought my coworkers were offering me some Thanksgiving dinner ingredients one day.

Words I would love to hear Americans use more often

“brekkie” – short for breakfast. Breakfast is already the most adorable meal of the day (Blueberries? Come on, adorable.) Let’s use a word for it that is just as cute.

“pear-shaped” – to go horribly wrong – because when you think about, pears are funny looking.

“skip” – dumpster. Garbage is ugly enough, let’s use a cute word to throw it away in.

“throw a wobbly” – tempter tantrum. Just a great image to run with, picturing people so angry they are falling over.

“fortnight” – 2 weeks. Because life is better when you sound like you live in a Jane Austen novel.

“white coffee” – coffee with milk. Makes sense. Sounds nicer. I’m in.

And the jury’s out on the following… what do you think?

“ta” – an informal thanks. Efficient, friendly, I think I’ll take it.

Thoughts? Comments? Disagreements? Canadians, Kiwis, Aussies: what do you think about all these?