An Anniversary and Birthday
Let's begin with the birthday, shall we? Happy Birthday, Lissie! I can't wait to see you tomorrow and celebrate then!
And, the anniversary. Hm. Wonder whose it could be...:oP
15 years ago today, as of this moment, we'd been married for an hour or so.
But, the truth is, we'd been an old married couple for quite awhile before that. Considering we began dating in 1993 and were married in 1999, we'd spent quite a bit of time together.
I was sitting and chatting with Karen yesterday and I asked her, "Can you remember much about those first early days and years of marriage?"
I was wondering how it was for some folks. You see, we just sort of slipped into a routine. I can't remember all that much in the way of sitting down and discussing finances and who would pay the bills, and sorting out the chores and whatnot. Knowing us, we probably just played it by ear and worked it out as we went along.
I graduated May 14 (I think), hung around another two weeks to continue waiting tables to pull in as much cash as I could, and then headed home. I used the last of my mom's insurance to see the doctor and dentist, slept on the pull-out sofa in the living room (my room was gone), and a few days before the wedding drove to Poquoson with a U-Haul full of furniture (okay, so Paul drove--thank you so much, Paul!).
Then, there was the rush of family coming into town, final last minute plans, a crapton of stress, and then the wedding day. I remember thinking (I might have even said it more than once) that I'd be so happy when the wedding was over because all the stress of it would be over.
We spent one night in the hotel in the 'burg, did gifts at my mom's, and headed off to our new life together. I spent the first days of my "honeymoon" at MPF getting into the military system so I could get a dependent ID and learning my way around base. I found the BX and the commissary and the hospital. I discovered the older side of base where the officers' housing was--it's beautiful over there!--and picked up passes for BG and CW from MWR. I spent much of those first few weeks just trying to figure out the stinkin' acronyms and abbreviations that were soon to be a part of my life.
B had a week off from work for our "honeymoon". We were young--so very young!--and had no money, so we had no honeymoon. We played around this area. There were lazy days lying in bed until 10:00--I doubt I could ever do that again!--and trips to BG and CW. We rationalized this area was a prime vacation area, so why not get to know it and enjoy it. We did. :o)
I remember all of that, but not the getting used to living with someone other than my family. I had to complete my student teaching, and goodness knows I had to get a job because there was no way B could support us on his E3 salary. So, I was off doing what I did best, waiting tables.
I worked. He worked. We were happy--I know that much at least.
It's such an odd thing learning to live with another human being. We each have our own little quirks and are all annoyed by different things. We struggle to cope and to adjust. It's such a gradual process you don't realize it's even happening. And suddenly, you're 15 years down that road and really can't remember exactly what trail you took to get there.
All I know, is it works and it's good. Sometimes it's wonderful. Sometimes it's really really hard work. But, through thick and thin, it's good. Good seems like such a mundane word, but the truth is, it's not.
It's not easy to live with another person--and to make matters more complicated, we often add more little persons into the equation!--and that headiness of first love and marriage gives way to the dailiness of life.
The flowers stop coming. Those little things you used to do for one another in the beginning are looooong gone. You're tired and sleep deprived and stressed from work and grumpy with each other, and you know what, sometimes you just don't have as much fun as you thought you would.
But, if it's "good" at it's base, you can overcome the rest of it. That strong base has you leaning on each other and turning to each other when times are tough. It has you laughing when your kids do something utterly ridiculous. It's the comfort of that person lying beside you at night, of knowing that person as well as you know yourself. In our case, we pretty much grew up together, we have a shared history. We know the same people, can share stories of high school and we were both there. We understand. I realized the other day I was jealous of his years in college and basic training and tech school because I wasn't a part of it, and I didn't know what he had done, what he had liked to do. What music did he listen to in college? What did he like to do for fun?
We're so thoroughly engrained in each other's lives it's odd to have a part of it that wasn't shared.
There's comfort in our relationship. We've weathered some miserable storms and come through it stronger for having done so. I truly cannot imagine my life without him, and I need to remember that on those days I'm frustrated and grumpy, often with no cause other than I'm irritated by the piles on the counter or he didn't make the bed. Seriously? That's what I'm tweaked about? I'd miss those piles were he to be gone. I know this.
Marriage is hard and it takes work. It's not always easy or fun like those first few days and months, but I wouldn't trade those early heady days for the deeper, more meaningful relationship we have now.
Happy Anniversary, Fred! I love you as big as the sky. Olympic! :oP
******************************
Sparklies:
1. I was looking through our wedding photos this morning and I found this one. I've always loved this one:
And, the anniversary. Hm. Wonder whose it could be...:oP
15 years ago today, as of this moment, we'd been married for an hour or so.
But, the truth is, we'd been an old married couple for quite awhile before that. Considering we began dating in 1993 and were married in 1999, we'd spent quite a bit of time together.
I was sitting and chatting with Karen yesterday and I asked her, "Can you remember much about those first early days and years of marriage?"
I was wondering how it was for some folks. You see, we just sort of slipped into a routine. I can't remember all that much in the way of sitting down and discussing finances and who would pay the bills, and sorting out the chores and whatnot. Knowing us, we probably just played it by ear and worked it out as we went along.
I graduated May 14 (I think), hung around another two weeks to continue waiting tables to pull in as much cash as I could, and then headed home. I used the last of my mom's insurance to see the doctor and dentist, slept on the pull-out sofa in the living room (my room was gone), and a few days before the wedding drove to Poquoson with a U-Haul full of furniture (okay, so Paul drove--thank you so much, Paul!).
Then, there was the rush of family coming into town, final last minute plans, a crapton of stress, and then the wedding day. I remember thinking (I might have even said it more than once) that I'd be so happy when the wedding was over because all the stress of it would be over.
We spent one night in the hotel in the 'burg, did gifts at my mom's, and headed off to our new life together. I spent the first days of my "honeymoon" at MPF getting into the military system so I could get a dependent ID and learning my way around base. I found the BX and the commissary and the hospital. I discovered the older side of base where the officers' housing was--it's beautiful over there!--and picked up passes for BG and CW from MWR. I spent much of those first few weeks just trying to figure out the stinkin' acronyms and abbreviations that were soon to be a part of my life.
B had a week off from work for our "honeymoon". We were young--so very young!--and had no money, so we had no honeymoon. We played around this area. There were lazy days lying in bed until 10:00--I doubt I could ever do that again!--and trips to BG and CW. We rationalized this area was a prime vacation area, so why not get to know it and enjoy it. We did. :o)
I remember all of that, but not the getting used to living with someone other than my family. I had to complete my student teaching, and goodness knows I had to get a job because there was no way B could support us on his E3 salary. So, I was off doing what I did best, waiting tables.
I worked. He worked. We were happy--I know that much at least.
It's such an odd thing learning to live with another human being. We each have our own little quirks and are all annoyed by different things. We struggle to cope and to adjust. It's such a gradual process you don't realize it's even happening. And suddenly, you're 15 years down that road and really can't remember exactly what trail you took to get there.
All I know, is it works and it's good. Sometimes it's wonderful. Sometimes it's really really hard work. But, through thick and thin, it's good. Good seems like such a mundane word, but the truth is, it's not.
It's not easy to live with another person--and to make matters more complicated, we often add more little persons into the equation!--and that headiness of first love and marriage gives way to the dailiness of life.
The flowers stop coming. Those little things you used to do for one another in the beginning are looooong gone. You're tired and sleep deprived and stressed from work and grumpy with each other, and you know what, sometimes you just don't have as much fun as you thought you would.
But, if it's "good" at it's base, you can overcome the rest of it. That strong base has you leaning on each other and turning to each other when times are tough. It has you laughing when your kids do something utterly ridiculous. It's the comfort of that person lying beside you at night, of knowing that person as well as you know yourself. In our case, we pretty much grew up together, we have a shared history. We know the same people, can share stories of high school and we were both there. We understand. I realized the other day I was jealous of his years in college and basic training and tech school because I wasn't a part of it, and I didn't know what he had done, what he had liked to do. What music did he listen to in college? What did he like to do for fun?
We're so thoroughly engrained in each other's lives it's odd to have a part of it that wasn't shared.
There's comfort in our relationship. We've weathered some miserable storms and come through it stronger for having done so. I truly cannot imagine my life without him, and I need to remember that on those days I'm frustrated and grumpy, often with no cause other than I'm irritated by the piles on the counter or he didn't make the bed. Seriously? That's what I'm tweaked about? I'd miss those piles were he to be gone. I know this.
Marriage is hard and it takes work. It's not always easy or fun like those first few days and months, but I wouldn't trade those early heady days for the deeper, more meaningful relationship we have now.
Happy Anniversary, Fred! I love you as big as the sky. Olympic! :oP
******************************
Sparklies:
1. I was looking through our wedding photos this morning and I found this one. I've always loved this one:
That's my Pawpaw--Papa's daddy. If he had come to the wedding in anything other than those bibs I don't think I'd recognized him. :oP He even got new bibs and a new shirt for the special day. :o) He looks odd here because he's not wearing his "ears"--his nasal cannula. Lord how I adored that man. :o)
2.
2.
Taken while stopped in road grading traffic. I felt so sorry for those men working on the road. How is this a sparkly, you ask, knowing how I LOATHE the heat and humidity? Well, I survived it, didn't I? ;o)
3.
3.
I know Lissie and Nana and Pop all ran into this problem with B and me, the problem of trying to find age appropriate reading material for an avid reader reading beyond her grade level. After much begging, we allowed her to start HP1. She started Friday. She's racing through it! :o) We're going to have to stop her with Book 2, for now.
4. My gardens. See, the heat and humidity are good for something...
4. My gardens. See, the heat and humidity are good for something...
My lunch.
7. My girls are turning into little otters! Lil is a swimming machine and Bean, holy smokes! You should see her go! She still needs adult assistance, but she's SWIMMING!
No milestones.
7. My girls are turning into little otters! Lil is a swimming machine and Bean, holy smokes! You should see her go! She still needs adult assistance, but she's SWIMMING!
No milestones.
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