Standing Up For Myself & Well Being
I did originally write this post out and was happy with the result, but as you know the server went down and it meant that I lost a lot of work, including this post, so I’m trying to remember everything I wrote, but go off of how I am feeling right now as well. Since I treat this blog sort of like an online diary and a place that’s mine to express everything I need to, I wanted to make this post as I’m hoping that it might inspire you or help you in some way too.
Recently over the past few months, I have found myself in some really stressful and exhausting situations, through no fault of my own actually, but ones that I have been involved in. I noticed that during these really hard and difficult times my mood changes immensely and I don’t function like I should, losing inspiration and enthusiasm because the weight of the situation is bearing down on me. I’ve begun to understand that no matter how hard you try to get on in life, things will always be around the corner unexpectedly to give you a knock back to keep the balance, but how you deal with these issues is important.
I’m actually lucky to have understood and figured out what I know now at such a young age, people a lot older than me are still trying to figure things out and deal with these types of burdens on a day to day basis, but what I have learned is that it’s ok to say no. I can’t stress this enough actually because for a while and for a lot of people around me, saying no to people seems like a really hard thing to do, due to fear of sounding rude or mean to those asking, but honestly, it’s perfectly fine to do so. If you just can’t manage to do something or it’s something that is going to do more harm to you mentally than good, it’s ok to say no.
It’s also ok to cut out the negativity. We should surround ourselves with people who bring out the best in us, who make us happy, give us energy and people we actually enjoy spending time with. People that respect us, not people who bring negativity and are only in the relationship, be it friendship or more, for their own personal gain and how much they can get from us. These types of people are no good to your mind and well being, so I learned a while ago to remove myself from these types of situations and people and I’m much happier for it. It’s not selfish, it’s just incredibly important to look after yourself. How can you look after others and be there for people you love properly when you aren’t even taking care of yourself correctly? It’s important to enjoy life and live it to the full since it’s the only one you will have, so making sure you are of the best mindset and health is something I take incredibly seriously now and I’m much better for it. Remember this post I wrote on changing my diet and physical activity?
If you are in the middle of these stressful situations and they are nothing to do with you, remove yourself. Especially if it’s making you anxious, worried and impacting your daily life. I know many of you may think this is mean, but if you think about it, whoever that person is got this far in life and they managed perfectly fine before they knew you. You are capable of dealing with your own problems, as am I, so that means they are too. If it’s too much for you, don’t do it. I’m not saying go cold turkey on everyone, of course there are many people out there that you will be close to, absolutely love and adore and of course you should be there for them, but I’m referring to those who you might call a friend, but in reality they are really only bringing stress into your lives and nothing worthy.
This isn’t something that comes really easily, I think after a while though, you just end up snapping and having enough. You get screwed over one too many times and irritated to the point of breaking. With certain people, you get to a point in your life where you just want to get out of it. You can’t take anymore of it and you have to do something about it. Working in this industry and being around certain people in life as well, I think I have experienced way too much of this negativity so early on in life and I reached my breaking point already. I now cut everything negative out and just do what I feel is important to me. Of course I’m still there for those who matter to me and are important, I always will be, but everything else, I’m not involved with. It’s too much and considering I’m one of those people who quite likes to be alone in quiet places, it definitely wasn’t good for me.
I found one of the easiest ways to be truly happy and make your life work the way you want it to is to literally do what you need to do. You don’t have to follow everyone else and you don’t have to do things just because you think you should or because that’s what you should do at this age or that age. Life literally has no rules, it’s however you want to live it and I’m very happy with what I’m doing now. I’ve actually never felt better. For example, Adam and I have been together over 6 years now, but we still live in separate houses and still have a long distance relationship. Countless times I have been asked when are we getting married, when are we living together, why aren’t we having children etc, but to me these questions have no merit because everything falls into place when it’s right. There is no rush, if we are both happy (which we are incredibly happy, to the point we have so much fun and laughter together) then why change it? We know we are suited to each other and will probably be together forever, but why does that mean we have to be married right now and everything else, just because everyone feels you should as it’s been too long. The same goes for alcohol, I don’t drink as you know, but people think that’s really odd too. I’m not worried what other people think about my life choices though, as long as I am happy and everything I am doing is ok, then that’s what counts. I don’t put time frames or rules on my life, things fall into place when they are right. I feel like a lot of people end up so unhappy because they rush into things, just because society says so and things end up falling apart because it wasn’t necessarily the right decision for them. This again creates so much negativity.
Doing what is right for you is the most important thing. The body doesn’t function correctly if it doesn’t have a stress free environment, nutrients and breathing space. You can’t help people or be of a benefit to anyone if you are not being the best possible you. I can’t explain how important it is to make sure that you are happy, doing things that you love, feeding your soul and your body with nutrients and excitement and being successful. I also wanted to say that this doesn’t mean successful in money terms, it means successful in life, leading a fulfilled and happy one. If someone gave me a million dollars to quit blogging forever and leave denim behind, I wouldn’t take it. I define success and richness as a mentality, not based upon what’s in your bank account or what others deem it to be.
This has turned out to actually be quite long and I didn’t mean it to be, but I’m really hoping that it might help some of you and inspire you to do things differently if you aren’t feeling like yourself anymore. It’s definitely ok to say no and focus on yourself, it’s not selfish, it’s needed. Go and take that time out and relax and concentrate on you if you need to. I promise you it’s extremely important, don’t live unhappily when you don’t need to. Life honestly is too short to be nothing but happy and enjoyed. Lorna xx.
