rendant grâce

This is Sam. Sam was my grandmother's grandfather, and like my Nana, he was a Wampanoag. His photo is here because the Wampanoag were the kind and generous folk who brought the food to the first Thanksgiving. I'm sure if Sam was still alive today, he would simply say, "you're welcome" (I had to have gotten it from somewhere, right).

I'm pretty sure that the Sam and Nana part of me is the reason I love Thanksgiving so. It's always been my most favorite of holidays, there is just something so familial, warm and loving about it, which is what made it all the more dismal as an expat. In the rest of the world, Thanksgiving is just another Thursday leading up to big show in December. It's all very blah.

Since moving back to the States, I've been longing for tomorrow to come. I'd finally be a part of it all again, not just an observer to the never ending flow of Facebook's pumpkin pie newsfeed. But here's the thing, never in my wildest imagination did I think that Gregory wouldn't be here for it. Never. During this ridiculously drawn out green card process, I was always like, "Oh well, at least he'll be here by Thanksgiving, that's all that matters." And lo and behold, he's not.

So while I've had moments of joy this week as the holiday has closed in (the crowded grocery store might be stressing out others but the frantic buzz of it has been giving me the giddies), unfortunately, there's been lots of sadness too. Gregory isn't here, my family isn't complete, and he won't be busting through the door in the nick of time, à la Planes, Trains and Automobiles. He is simply not coming.

In order to try and get a hold of the ever growing pit of despair that's burrowing deeper into my stomach as the Thanksgiving clock winds down, I thought it was time to focus on the positive with the timely, Things I'm Thankful For list.

I'm thankful for friends that feel more like family.

I'm thankful for my health and everything that I have that so many less fortunate souls do not.

I'm thankful for my mom's friend Vicki, who always helps me bathe Fifty. (He had his holiday bath yesterday and he's so soft and clean now and his grandma can't say he smells like fish anymore... for the record, he never smelt like fish.)

I'm thankful for Law and Order SVU. As long as USA keeps running those marathons, I will always have something to watch on TV.

I'm thankful that I found a wine here that I love and that's a bargain at $5.49 a bottle. Amen and Hallelujah.

I'm thankful for the new Chromebook I'm typing on; an early Christmas present from my mother. Thanks Eilo.

I'm thankful for the friends that I have made through this blog. You guys are some of the most kind and supportive people going. I love y'all.

I'm thankful for Mr. & Mrs. London who have been taking such good care of Gregory these past few months.

I'm thankful for Fifty, my trusty sidekick, who is wonderfully, cuddly, company.

I'm thankful that my husband's phone plan allows him call me twice a day. But, I'll be even more thankful when he no longer has to.

Happy Thanksgiving friends! Gobble, gobble bisous.