Are You A Good Girlfriend to your Girlfriends?

I have been bombarded with situations of women complaining about women. How we are competitive, how we are catty to one another. Please let me be blatantly honest. It infuriates me. I am a woman, when I hear how we can’t be trusted. “How we are petty”, I personalize it. I know all women aren’t trying to destroy other women’s lives.

Women’s publication headlines, ” How to Detox a Friendship”. The plot to every reality show is women cat fighting or betraying each other. Ladies please stop a moment. Is anyone seeing what I am seeing?

Very recently a casual Facebook friend commented, “I must know, why are women so intimidated by one another? It makes no sense and it’s pointless.” Girls you know that started a firestorm of comments. To my dismay, most of the comments were in agreement. Have I been betrayed by a woman? Yes, but I would never sit here and detail every negative encounter I have had with a woman. That would be POINTLESS.

I run this blog. My grammar and sentence structure is atrocious. I had a young lady from twitter DM me to say, “You have a lot of grammar errors on your blog.” I didn’t take it personal. I didn’t think she was being catty or petty. I laughed and I said, yes I know. LOL, I am embarrassed. My grammar is atrocious. Do you know this lady renewed her subscription to Grammarly.com and emailed me her password and username. Prior to this encounter, I had never had a conversation with this women.

When my daughter was much younger she went to school with a girl who eventually became her good friend. When I first me her mom, I remember her having a Disney Tigger cell phone case. I told her, awe that’s cute. Do you know she went out and brought me one? I really didn’t know this lady well at the time. The Disney Tigger case didn’t even fit my phone. She just wanted to do something nice for someone. She was being a good girlfriend.

My previous life I worked in corporate America. There are a variety of personality types in every office. There is always one girl, who’s so supportive. Who will drop what she’s doing to help her teammates. The girl who buys the greeting card and have the entire office sign it on specific occasions. I CAN go on about the great habits of women.

Yes, of course I have had bad experiences with women, it’s the nature of relationships. They break down. What is most alarming is this trend to severe relationships because they are difficult. If a women hurts your feelings, ladies please wait a day. Meet them for coffee. Say to that person, “you know your hurt me.” Don’t be defensive and aggressive, behave like a women, be loving, nurturing and understanding. Here is the craziest part, if we had a break down with our man. Oh.. we would try to talk it out. LOL!! Funniest thing is that it is a better chance that a women would get you and understand you in that moment than a man would. But we would put more time and effort in making this guy understand or get us than our girlfriend. Yes, there is something very wrong with that idea!

In a UCLA study, it was discovered men and women have different reactions to stress. A man reaction is called fight or flight. A woman’s reactions are called, ” Tend and Befriend”. This revelation was discovered after two female scientist noticed, when a woman who worked there was under pressure, she would come into the lab, made coffee and bonded with other women. A man experiencing stress would disappear into his offices and did not speak to anyone. The fact that women turned to their friends in moments of high tension is partly due to the effect of estrogen and may explain why women live longer than mem. Friendships produce physiological reactions in the body, lowering blood pressure, heart rate and cholesterol, the hormone most routinely mocked in women, you know that time of the month hormone?

In closing, I encourage other women to be the change they are seeking.