stories of strength: amy.
This Story Of Strength is from my blog friend Alyssa’s sister, Amy. Alyssa previously shared some of her sister’s story here, but I wanted to catch up learn more about her journey and where she’s at today.
I am a very spiritual person, and I have to tell you that I think God has given me this opportunity to share with you to remind me of how very blessed I am. Let me explain…
I am a 5th grade teacher at an elementary school. I also serve on the PTO. A fellow PTO member and local pediatrician was diagnosed with breast cancer and undergoing treatment. The PTO called her, and asked her what we could to do help – meals, babysitting, etc. Her only request was to spread awareness. She asked that we have the local mammogram van visit the school for teachers and mothers to get their mammogram. So I was given the task of filling the van.
At first, no one would get on. Teachers claimed that it was hard to find the time. I panicked, because I needed to fill 10 spots. So I took the first appointment on the van and challenged the teachers to fill other spots. I told them they needed to do it for the PTO member that sent the van. I was 36 at the time. I had one aunt with breast cancer, but I had 7 aunts, so that wasn’t a big deal. We filled the van. We had teachers and mothers that were volunteering – it was awesome – a great way to honor our friend.
So, a week later, I find out that the test was abnormal, and I needed another “just to get a good baseline.” Then I went in for my biopsy a week after that. It was horrible…all the appointments, all the waiting.
So the day comes when I had to get my biopsy report. My husband and I waited in the waiting room for what seemed like years. When they finally opened to door to let us in, we knew. I turned to Eric and said, “baby…this is happening.” The doctor was amazing. He cried with us, he told us our options. He had already called my OBGYN, and she had recommended a surgeon. We left the office in shock, and then drove straight to our 6 year old twin daughters’ soccer game that my husband had to coach. Life goes on…you can’t dwell…you move on for your kids.
My initial reaction was absolute fear and shock. My husband had a sister who passed away from a brain tumor at 17, so we had been through this before. I didn’t sleep – I spent too much time searching the internet for things I shouldn’t read. Finally, after a late night talk with my father, he convinced me that I should NOT be on the internet. That was good advice. I cried all the time, but held it together around our children where were then 6, 6, and 2. All girls.
After meeting with the surgeon a few days later, all was put into perspective. She told me that I dodged a bullet. She believed that my cancer could be removed by surgery. I would need to have a mastectomy on my left breast. The cancer was completely throughout my ducts in my left breast. It had broken out of the duct in one part, which only put me at Stage 1, but there was no way to save the breast. I chose with no hesitation to have both breasts removed – there was no way I was going to go through this again.
This is the part I want you to remember: She told me that had I waited until I was 40 (AS IS RECOMMENDED BY DOCTORS) to get my first mammogram, it would have been really bad. I may not have made it. My 40th birthday has now just passed – my children are 10, 10, and 6 – and I am on my knees in thankful prayers that our PTO member sent that mammogram van to our school.
Overall, I think we handled the diagnosis and the surgery well. We were just so thankful that it was caught, and there was no feeling of pity or anger. My husband is such an amazing man. If he was upset about the loss of my breasts, he never once showed it. He was a rock. You know, people forget about the husbands when women are going through breast cancer. One night I woke up to find him downstairs crying. He never would show me his fear – he hid it from all of us.
My friends and I rallied after my surgery. We found contacts at EVERY school in our county and had the mammogram visit every school for two years. It was so awesome. We know of one person that was diagnosed from visiting the van! We had such a feeling of accomplishment. We were giving back! Unfortunately, the van broke down, and the hospital did not fix it. I am not sure why. We were crushed that this VERY effective means to get women their mammograms was gone.
I was blessed that I didn’t need chemo or radiation. In 8 weeks I was back on my feet and trying to have a normal life. I am on tamoxifen, which has been a struggle for me for 3 years, but I only have 2 years left. I can deal with moodiness, weight gain, hot flashes, memory loss, and night sweats if it means that I am going to see my amazing husband dance with his beautiful daughters at their weddings. We are blessed. Life is good. We can do this.
My top takeaways: Once again – 40 is WAY too late for your first mammogram. We like to say that “36 is the new 40.” So many women my age put their families and their jobs ahead of their own care – we put off appointments because we are all so busy with our kids. We need to take care of ourselves so we can be here for our kids.
And lastly, life is short, so don’t sweat the small stuff. Trust in God, love your family. The phrase “live, laugh, love” kind of sums it all up.
Thanks Amy for sharing your story! xx
