Our First Goodbye

Last Wednesday, Gabe had his last heart check in Georgia.

It was a little bit of a tear jerker.

I love his cardiologist so, so much and trust her completely. It's hard to imagine starting over with someone who hasn't watched his little body perform miracle after miracle. The new doctor won't be as amazed at his pink lips or 99 O2 stats. Dr. Streiper has talked me down from many ledges and never once made me feel crazy for asking my strange questions. She loves Gabe and puts up with his very, very active self during our long appointments.

She pointed me towards the most patient doctor on her list of suggestions as we walked out the door.

Bless her.

This visit wasn't technically needed since he just went in last month.

But last time, he really didn't want to do an ECHO, but before she released him to another doctor she wanted to get a peek at what was going on in there.

I'll be honest, I was a wreck at this appointment.

With everything going on with Livi, I'm already on edge. Add that to not having an ECHO since right after we left the hospital and I had all kinds of ideas running through my head. He's been sweaty and a bit clammy lately. And not eating as great as he had been. All hints towards fluid accumulating in his chest cavity again.

But she gave us the all clear. His blood pressure and stats were all great and he is growing. Slowly, but growing. His heart function (squeezing) isn't great. It's not awful, just not where they were hoping it would be post Fontan. She thinks that this may just be how his heart is going to be and since it obviously isn't slowing him down at all, she isn't concerned.

As we walked out of her office and down the hall it hit me.

This is it.

Our first goodbye.

I turned around and walked back in, looked her in the eye and said, "thank you." And those two little words got me all choked up because, man, they just don't cover it. We hugged and said goodbye and walked out the door.

Since then, I've had a hard time keeping my thoughts straight.

I feel like it was moving so slow and now all of the sudden we only have single digit days left. We've sold all of our big furniture and reserved the uhaul. We have airline tickets purchased and everyday the house is more and more empty.

I'm so super excited, but man, leaving is harder than I expected.