oh baby

i had a baby and now i have a baby. she's a tiny machine of awesome and 24-hour need and i love her dearly.

we're almost six weeks in and my brain is a scattered wasteland of sleep deprivation and reality TV at 3am, so here goes my personal buzzfeed-esque post about my life with baby so far.

baby lesson #1: throw money at the problem

i'm of the frugal sort generally and even right up until i had the baby i was like "we don't need that item everyone says you need so let's not get it" and then the baby arrived and i was like
amazon prime is my new best friend and i see the delivery man more than i see real people i love in my life.

baby lesson #2: you're on baby time now

exhausted and running on 2 hours of fitful sleep? haven't showered in 3 days? haven't eaten anything except cheez-its in 6 hours? baby don't care. deal with it.

baby lesson #3: sasha fierce

mom protect mode is real. as soon as that baby was out in the world a switch flipped and i became determined to ruin anyone with any intention of getting in the way of the safety of my tiny offspring. grabby kid in target who wants to touch my baby?
loitering old man who has a cough like he has TB?
handsy ladies who get too close to the stroller?

baby lesson #4: emotions

the following are feelings i vacillate between on a daily basis:

look at this amazing baby we made!

i am responsible for this tiny fragile person.

weepy frustration when i've just fallen asleep and you hear the baby rousing.

missing my old life, pre baby, where i slept when i wanted and drank alcohol.

pride at creating a tiny lovely little human.

baby lesson #5: you do you

i am shocked at the amount of shame that is heaped on moms in the name of 'what's best for the baby.' it's oppressive and cruel and it isn't necessary. you breastfeed or formula feed or disposable diaper or co-sleep? great! i don't care. you do you.

my mantra so far has been "you're doing a good job" and "don't question your choices." being a mom is harder than i thought it would be, but it's also sometimes easier and (yes, cliche) worth it, at least so far. started from the bottom now the whole team here.