Comparison: Lip Hybrid Thingamabobs

(Products were purchased by me, except *, which was a gift from a friend.)
I thought I'd do a comparison post for these "hybrid" things, because there are a lot of them now, but I don't think they're all the same. Case in point, these three:

L-R: Lancôme Lip Lover in Framboise Étoile, Maybelline Color Elixir in Intoxicating Spice, Dior Fluid Stick in Vie d'Enfer*.
Now, I like lipsticks, and I like glosses, so I'm open to hybrids. My favorite glosses are Dior's Addict Glosses, and I also like Shu Uemura's glosses and MAC Cremesheens (only cremesheens, though); I like my glosses to be hydrating and not sticky. Preference for opacity and the presence of sparkle depends on my mood - texture is the deal breaker in every case. Same is true for the lipstick-gloss hybrids featured here.

So let's talk about texture, and the claims of each product.
Lancôme: "Alluring lip color meets the moisturizing effects of a balm in Lancôme’s Lip Lover’s three-in-one formula. The moisturizing base provides up to eight hours of hydration, a smoothing layer supports the reduction of fine lines, and the saturated pigments leave lips with intense color. "
Maybelline: "A trio of concentrates delivers the color of a lipstick, the cushiony care of a balm, and the glass shine of a gloss."
Dior: "A spectacular lip formula that packs the benefits of shiny gloss and pigmented lipstick into one color-rich product. This stunning hybrid imparts high-impact shine with maximum color to offer a new kind of lip color. It’s lightweight in texture, boasts sensational color payout, and delivers long-lasting wear and a no-makeup feel with coverage that is between a gloss and a lipstick."

Basically, they all claim to be balm lip color glossy shine. OKAY THEN.

Sorry, I didn't have super similar shades across the three formulas.
Nice pigmentation, check. Glossy shine, check (these all lose their spectacular shine after an hour or so, though the color remains, and they never dry down to a matte or satin finish.). But how do they feel?
The Maybellines are nice; they're thick but slather on nicely. They're comfortable to wear and I actually pull them out quite often. The Lancôme Lip Lover is similar - it's a little thinner and hugs lips a little more (clinging to them in one nice coat), but it remains comfortable, and my lips don't feel dry afterward.
BUT THE DIOR. Vie d'Enfer, for serious.
It's the thinnest and least cushiony as it goes on, and it was tolerable for the first ten minutes or so. Gradually it felt stickier...and stickier...and stickier. Like you went too long without reapplying your gloss. Like you put double-sided tape on your lips and kept smacking them together. Every movement of lips made them stick together and pull apart. ON FIRE. My lips were ON FIRE. I don't know how people are wearing them! And, you can't argue that they stay put - I still managed to get some on my teeth while I was talking to S.
Verdict: Maybellines are $5-10 and fantastic, along with the color range (some are more sheer, I think, but they are meant to be). The Lancôme Lip Lovers are also good; they don't have as strong a scent as the Maybellines or the Dior Fluid Stick, but at $23, I'd need to love a specific shade to opt for it over the Color Elixir. SKIP THE DIOR ($35!). Unless you really, really love tacky formulas. But honestly, at that price point, it needs to be so much better than it is.