Currently Not Trending, Green Beer; St. Patrick's Day Edition.

St. Patricks Day is like Valentine's Day for people who like Jameson and bad decisions, although I suppose just as many bad decisions (if not more) have been made due to Cupid's dangerous shot rather than the faltering "Luck of the Irish", but back to the point...

Green beer? Gross. Bad decision #1. Say no to the yucky tinted beer, and you'll be happy you did...if not tonight, definitely come tomorrow morning.

Why? Oh, I thought you'd never ask...

1. Bloat central. Beer is highly bloating. You may think that your green get-up is the new black, but I'm here to tell you that it's highly unflattering and not even close to being as slimming, especially when being thrown down your throat.

2. Toxic food coloring. Food coloring can be highly toxic...not only to your body, but also to your look. Do you really want green lips all night? Or worse, green enamel where your crest strips previously whitened? That dye job is not instantly removable. Think about it.

3. "Let me buy you green beer..." said no prince charming ever. Just say no.

4. Binge drinking enabled. There's something about drinking green beer that triggers the inner alcoholic. Clearly, the green stands for a green light for binging, not so attractive.

5. Cheap cover up. Remember, the only difference between a green beer and a bad beer is if the bad flavor disappears after awhile. Don't settle for the sake of being festive, you're only masking poor judgement.

Now that we've addressed the points on why green beer is currently not trending, you didn't think I'd make you be a Sober Sally all evening did you?

Here's some great green alternatives:

Craft Beer
A Good Whiskey
The Irish Mule

Or, do what I do and stick to the "flute of gold" themed twist on St. Patrick's Day I take and sip on some crisp gold champagne. Festive bubbles never go out of style. Clink.