Thought Bubbles On The Oscars

Does anyone else have a Ross Matthew’s hangover? I mean, my God. Never once have I ever turned off a red carpet, but alas last night it happened. I’m going to keep this short and sweet since literally everyone and their mama is discussing the Oscars today, so here are a few of my random thought bubbles on last night’s awards … ahem:

1. Men shouldn’t wear white tuxedos, especially men hosting a red carpet and interacting with movie stars who are more spray tanned and bronzed then they have ever been in their entire life. What’s next? Bringing back the cummerbund?

2. E! needs to revamp the red carpet coverage. Completely. No more Mani Cam. No more asking stars ridiculous questions like, “so like what are your plans after the show.” Umm go to a fancy party with fancy people and eat and drink fanciness, duh. We get it. And finally … Ross Matthews shouldn’t be allowed ANY caffeine or stimulants before going on air. You know what, just remove him from the equation completely.

3. I kind of love the fact that Lupita looked like she was chilling on the beach all day and just decided to put on this flowing masterpiece of a Prada dress, top it off with a headband (PS. they totally made a comeback last night), and rock the red carpet. She also invented her own color. Umm hi. Bow. Down.

4. Jared Leto needs to marry me. He just doesn’t know it yet.

5. Back to Seacrest for a moment, it really bums me out to know I wouldn’t be able to fit into his tuxedo jacket. Fat guy in a little coat.

6. Back to the red carpet, let’s not have reality star’s like Kristin Cavalleri commenting on the looks, kay? She isn’t a credibe source … like not even a little, for crying out loud. Just because she knows how to pronounce “Lanvin” doesn’t mean she knows how people should wear it.

7. Throw stuff at me for this, I don’t care, but I’m over J. Law. We get it, you fall, you aren’t cut out for the red carpet. You only wear Dior. You’re awkward. You say crazy things. Blah, blah, blahbity blah. ::::Snoozing:::::

8. Ellen wins for best tuxedo of the evening. She also wins at life for making Brad Pitt hand out paper plates.

9. The following trends made me drool, in no particular order: Long sleeved gowns, neutrals, and headbands.

10. And if I had the opportunity to knock out any of these movie stars and steal their dress, here is who I would choose: