On days like today, ladies feel the need to throw their stockings to the wind, burn their boots and rock a naked leg underneath a skirt or dress. “Short shorts for all!,” they said … but you will find me standing there, arms crossed, in full resting bitch face saying, “bitch, please.”
I know, I know … it’s tempting to expose your epidermis at the first inkling of warmth. And today I stood in front of my closet and had the classic battle of, do I risk freezing my ass off all day and show a little skin, or do I just stick to my winter regime and sweat a little. At first I reached for my short sleeve dress and flats, but shook my head no, and reached for a T-shirt and blazer, black skinnies with heels … but that was all wrong. Then after much debate went with the sheer top (with something underneath it, of course … pervs), jeans, boots and a light trench. And now said sheer top is making me itch beyond belief, and it’s a little drafty where I’m sitting. I mean, can I win?!
If I could stay the same temperature all day, I would be happy. But spring is a saucy minx that continuously switches it up. After my 10 minute walk to the train, I’m sweating. I cool off on my train ride, but by the time I get to my desk I’m over heated. Then depending if my office decided to be freezing or stuffy that day, I unfortunately have to suffer through something (I know, right? Waaaaaaa, poor me). I mean, planning outfits for days like to day means you’re sacrificing something … or that you need to dress in layers, which is annoying … sometimes. Then you’ll find me on the train, over heated like a woman going through menopause ripping layers of clothing off. Hawt, right?
So no, I am not ready to show some leg. Mostly because I have refused to look at my legs all winter and fear the paleness will blind innocent bystanders. Before I throw myself into the spring wind, I need a spray tan, I probably need to do a thoroughly shaving of my legs (come on, we ALL use the winter as the lazy girl’s excuse for lack of leg shaving), and I probably need to thoroughly moisturize (don’t my legs sound hot right now?). So once I complete those tasks, sure … epidermis for all … wait, what?
Until then, I’m preparing to be uncomfortable for a couple of painful weeks. Sigh … I’m already stressing about what I will wear tomorrow.