jag trodde jag kunde mitt inre livs stränder.
trodde jag visste allt om vad havet kan göra med mig.
jag hade fel.
det är det här jag menar när jag säger att
jag älskar att ha fel. motbevisa mig. visa mig.
krascha in i mitt hjärta.
med kärlek,
h
i've always been a beach-person.
never one to dwell there to get a tan,
but one to stay in the water until the skin gets wavy,
rough as a sand bottom too.
dive, doing underwater handstands,
go with the flow, go against the current,
stay under for as long as possible; until your chest feels like it’s
gonna burst, ~ & burst my eardrums at 19 meters depth.
i thought i knew all my inner life beaches.
thought i knew everything about what an ocean can do to me.
i was wrong.
we’re living on seminyak beach.
half a minute from waking under the baldachine,
to having your feet caressed by the indian ocean.
six kilometers of sparkling elephant-grey sand beach and
legendary breaks with names like halfway, padma & KuDeTa
shows us tunnel after tunnel of the loveliest jade green,
crashing in white & into the heart, over and over.
here we don’t look at the sunrise.
the sun always seems to already be waiting up for us,
for us to open our eyes. sometimes the bed is empty when i
wake up. sara is up, picking shells every morning,
indefatigable, before the tractor crushes the fragile crusts,
cleans up. she rounds them up in long lines at
the huge stone bench in our bathroom.
i shade my face with one hand, squinting at
her bent back in the sun.
whisper anne morrow lindbergh 's
one can not collect all the beautiful shells on the beach to myself,
but i’m no longer sure.
i know someone who will try.
we drink large glasses of freshly squeezed juice
for breakfast. watermelon. pineapple. guava.
and as the skin softly darkens,
the soul forcefully lightens.
here you don’t watch the sunsets.
here you
live in them.
people stand, ~ variously far into the sea, some as
lonely painted watercolor strokes in the backlight,
others in dancing, whispering groupes,
but all somehow together.
it’s like the sun doesn’t really go
down,
but go
in. in into all of us living there right then.
and next,
all is a starry sky. out, ~ & inside.
i thought i knew all my inner life beaches.
thought i knew everything about what an ocean can do to me.
i was wrong.
this is what i mean when i say that
i love being wrong. prove me wrong. show me.
crash into my heart.
x,
h
±
self portraits & portraits from seminyak beach
shell bra lost sweater |
wildfox white label
life is a beach | golden tat |
flash tattoos © hannah lemholt photography