Halloween Past & Life as an Introvert
With Halloween on the way, I thought it would be fun to go back in time and delve into the creative process. A few years ago I attempted to start a tradition. Well, that was back when I had one kid and a little extra time on my hands. Not only would I dress my husband and son as characters from Charlie Chaplin’s, “The Kid”, but I would create a mini-film to immortalize the event. What better way to capture my little boy’s fleeting time as a toddler. Shooting took all of about one hour, while most of the work went into editing (story of my life). So why go above and beyond for just a simple holiday? What’s exactly behind my madness?
When you’re an introvert, you go through various phases of comfort in life. After birth you’re referred to as the”good baby”. You sleep, eat, sleep, then sleep some more. I see these exact traits in my own daughter; it’s quite eerie. She slept so much as an infant that I was forced to wake her at times. After the toddler years you start to feel a bit uneasy in your skin. The pressure that comes with socialization (especially in a school setting) is enough to send an introvert into hiding. You start to feel guilty about your inability to fit in. Once I reached high school I began to immerse myself in art, music and science. Those subjects filed a void that resulted from my lack in social skills. Hey, if I couldn’t make friends, I would try to “show” people who I was through my work. I’m not saying this was healthy, but it was the only way for me to speak without saying a word. Art was something I was just good at. I didn’t really think anything of it until teachers took notice. The awards were nice but I wasn’t fully satisfied. Then there was music. Since I didn’t talk much, music was a great a way for me to scream and shout. I played clarinet for 9 years and loved every second of it. I wasn’t the greatest player, but that didn’t matter to me. I guess what I’m trying to get at is people express themselves in a variety of ways. Most prefer words, whereas I prefer any medium in which I do not have to speak. I think this is where the whole “sensitive artist” phrase comes from. Instead of expressing outward, artists tend to absorb, over think and internalize stimuli them until it makes sense. It may have taken 25-30 years for me to accept my fate as a introvert, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It’ll be interesting to see if my daughter follows in my shy footsteps. I’ll be there every step of the way to ease her fears. The following project was a fun way for this introvert to express my love for my growing family. I aim to capture memories in the form of film, print, photo…you name it. I hope some day that my kids will appreciate these brief snap shots of life.
I begin most creative projects with an inspiration board. This is my favorite stage of the process because I start to get excited and anxious (anxious in a good way). Since there was SO much inspiration to be had, it was difficult to keep this board concise. The emotions that come from a completed board are what drive me to the end. Details are so important in communicating a mood and staying true to an existing brand. Chaplin took a lot of pride in keeping his brand consistent, and it shows. When I approached my husband about playing Chaplin, I knew his first answer would be a big–fat–NO. But I know Michael. Simply shower him with compliments (regarding his acting prowess) and begin to tease away the layers until he’s putty in my hands. Seriously, it works. The day we shot the film, it was brisk, to say the least. I knew I had to shoot fast or else my two year old would get cranky and my 37 year old would fall out of character. Let’s just say that my husband was more cranky at the end of the shoot After all scenes were complete, I knew deep down that we had our money shot. During the final scene when Chaplin and the kid walk away from a still camera, they come full circle; back to where they began; aching to find food. It’s subtle, but at that moment when Chaplin peers into the camera, I could feel his longing to protect “the kid”. I may be stretching, but I could connect this emotion to how we feel as parents in real life. When “the kid” waves during that scene, he is oblivious to the load that weighs on Chaplin’s shoulders. It made me realize how precious and fleeting a child’s innocence is, not to mention, how much we worry as parents. Two very different ends of a spectrum that create balance in family life. That scene says so much, without saying a word.
WATCH THE FILM >>
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