Dark-Skinned Girls Rock!: Fern

Hey Luvs,

Hope you all are doing lovely and feeling great! Today for the Dark-skinned Girls Rock! series we're featuring natural hair blogger, Fern from Ask Me About My Hair.

Fern Illidge Everybody meet Fern! She's a 35 year old Human Resources Director by day and blogger by night from Statesboro, Georgia!

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Describe yourself in 3 words. Introvert, multi-dimensional.
Tell us about your personal style.
Creatively Professionally Retro-Hippy-Grunge – is that even a style?! LOL, but I mix it up a lot. I absolutely love A-line retro dresses, sweaters, scarves, knit hats (the slouchier the better!), and quirky socks and tights. If I could live in my Converse I would. But I love and collect all kinds of heels!

Who are your style icons?
I’m an old soul, so I love the look of the Neo-Soul beauties of the early 90’s when it was popular to want to be Lauren Hill, Jill Scott, or Erykah Badu. These are my hair icons, I think. I am not fond of the more modern stars – too much skin, cleavage, and not enough clothes. But I do love Janelle Monae’s style…she is so fun! I also loved Tracee Ellis Ross on Girlfriends – her style was awesome. My all-time style icon is Michelle Obama. I think she even out-styles Jackie Kennedy, and Jackie was a stylish woman! I also love Marilyn Monroe’s sexy but classy style.

Have you ever struggled with self-identity issues because of your complexion? If so what are some things you did to accept yourself for who you are and love yourself? Never because of my complexion, although I have been overlooked in relationships for my lighter-skinned girlfriends. It never bothered me, though because I have always loved the color of my milk-chocolate skin-tone! Always. And I LOVE me a beautiful darker man. I have suffered from self-identity issues because of the way I speak – in this part of Georgia it is STILL not popular to speak properly. I was bullied for “talking like a white girl” in high school and coming from a military background– being raised in Europe – we didn’t understand what “talking like a white person” meant when we heard all kinds of accents from all kinds of skin tones and cultures. Whatever – I’m over it now, but this caused me many years of grief and self-doubt. My weight ‘issue’ has been more of a self-image problem for me than my skin color. I will admit that I have struggled with the less important issue of lipstick colors against my skin. I want to rock bright reds and purples, but I can never see it against my skin tone! Doesn’t cause me to dislike my complexion, though!

Do you have any advice for other dark-skinned women that are struggling with accepting themselves because of the color of their skin? Put it like this – you are beautiful, but you have to be able to see yourself that way. You would be surprised how many people don’t care about your skin shade; in fact, they will love you when they see that you love yourself. If it is an issue with you then it becomes an issue for other people. From my observation, the shade of black skin is more an issue within the black community than it is in the white community. We have carried this stigma about lighter being better for so long that we have been the victims of our own racism. I have experienced the most racism from my own “people”, not any other culture. We need to love ourselves more as a people and stop placing ourselves in categories based on skin color, hair type, the way we speak, etc. It starts with me. It starts with you. And like racism trickles down, so does acceptance.

What do you like most about being dark-skinned? I love it in conjunction to my eye shape, my lips and smile – I love the contrast of my white teeth to my darker face, it makes my face light up; I also love the black of my hair on my darker skin. I love how black looks on me when I wear it. I love how bright yellows and blues look on my nails next to my skin. I love that my features, even my skin shade, makes me unique. I love being different! Cookie-cutter is boring, so I’m glad that we come in all different shades and undertones!

Thank you so much Fern for participating in the series and sharing your story with us! Don't forget to check out Fern's blog, Ask Me About My Hair and YouTube Channel, AskMeAboutMyHairBlog and follow her on Twitter:@NappyGoddesse & Instagram:NappyGoddesse!
My dark-skinned ladies, if you have a story that you feel others can benefit from, please don't hesitate to participate in this series. This series is open to all! You don't have to be a blogger, vlogger, etc. to participate. Click here for more info about the series, or email me at [email protected] if you are interested in participating.

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