The Day I Realized I Was Ordinary…

…I was pretty depressed.

I had all these dreams of doing something great with my life. Something noteworthy. Something extraordinary. Something big and exciting and unusual.

Then I realized my little life will always be little.

A mom of three kids and some dogs and cats and little else.

I pretend I do other things: write novels or work a job or play guitar or exercise or be a “Mom who has it all”.

In reality, I don’t want to do any of these things.

It’s all work and I don’t want to work.

Trying to figure out your calling is a challenge. One I don’t want to do anymore.

I pulled a muscle yesterday. I realized I’m getting older and my body won’t last forever.

I pissed off some people on my daughter’s soccer team because of another fee I didn’t realize I had to pay and I had the nerve to question it. I had to apologize for my lack of understanding and secretly vow the end of soccer which is all political bull####.

I woke up this morning. Made my husband’s lunch. Did the dishes. Blogged a bit. Kissed my husband good-bye and thanked him for earning a living because I am obviously a dysfunctional member of society and would be incapable of surviving in the working world.

This is when it hit me: yep, I’m ordinary. Nothing about my life stands out or is even worthy to be remembered.

Don’t tell me I can live an ordinary life in an extraordinary manner. I’ve heard this enough in my lifetime.

I do realize I am blessed because I know God and Jesus. Yes, I get that…

But beyond all of that, when it comes down to it, I’m just one person of 7 billion on the planet. Eking out a living and living out an eking…

It’s not a happy day to say the least. Maybe it will take off some of the pressure I feel to be extraordinary although knowing myself I believe I will always be striving for extraordinary despite my new-found knowledge.

In my kids’ eyes and pets’ eyes, I am extraordinary. I don’t deserve to be…

Well, I must end this rumination as my ordinary life calls. It’s trash day, and I must get my trash can out and ready for pick-up. The dogs need fed. The kids will be getting up shortly. And I’m out of coffee…