Letting go.

One of the funny things about blogging is that sometimes it helps you sort your own brain out. Like, sometimes, I’ll write a post, and then for the next couple of hours I’ll be like, “Huh…I didn’t even know that’s what I thought.”

Writing and words have always been so comforting to me. It’s why I’m a rambler. I love finding exactly the right words to define what’s bothering me or how I’m feeling.

I’ve also been running a lot lately, which just means plenty of time to think.

When I wrote yesterday’s post, it made me think more about the idea of bravery. One of my favorite definitions of bravery has always been that it is not the absence of fear, but rather feeling fear and persevering anyway.

I was so painfully shy as a kid, I always feel like I missed out on things. As a result, I’m always trying to be a bit braver. To stand up for myself, and especially for others, even when I’m afraid of getting shot down. Diving head first into scary things never fails to boost my self-confidence after the fact, so why wouldn’t I chase those opportunities?

I also started thinking about the other things I want to be. More patient. More considerate. More helpful. More perceptive. More loving. More understanding. More unflappable.

Joey once pointed out to me that one of the main reasons I get upset (when I get upset) is when things don’t happen the way I want them to. Since then, I’ve been making an effort to not let the little things get to me. To not be such a control freak. (I swear, I’m trying.)

So maybe that’s my real 2014 goal. If 2013 was the year of polishing up my life, 2014 is the year I become more difficult to phase. Tougher to trip up.

In a way, it’s really just deciding to be more in control of my life and my feelings, rather than letting outside influences affect me so strongly. It’s not totally out of line with my Happiness Project philosophy.

Do I think I’ll be able to switch off my Type A tendencies overnight? No. I don’t think I even want to. But I do want to be able to keep everything in its place.

Here’s to happier, breezier year.

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