But What Happens Now?

"What happens now?" It's a question that I've been asking myself a lot lately.

Graduating from college just about four months ago, my step into adulthood was damn humbling. There are a lot of things they don't tell you about post-graduate life - how much of your paycheck taxes will eat up, what a high insurance deducible really means, or that saving money will actually made you giddy. But the thing that has shocked me the most? How truly vast life is after leaving campus.

We spend a large part of our young lives striving towards something - the high school diploma, the college degree, the good job. I worked through these phases with one goal in mind. I wanted a job that I'd look forward to getting up for in the morning. I wanted a job that give me the financial stability to eliminate money worries. I wanted to create myself a scenario in which my working life wouldn't become something that I absolutely hated. And somehow, I managed to do that.

But as I sober up from the high of graduation, it feels like I'm treading water in the middle of the ocean and there's no sight of land in any direction. What happens now? Which direction do I swim? What's the next step or goal?

The only answer I've found is that there isn't a "next." Life is wide open and I'm the only one who can decide what happens now. Whether it's setting small goals for the year or wanting to turn blogging into a full-time job or deciding to just enjoy the day-to-day routine of life for a little while... There's no right answer.

Sure, marriage and motherhood are in the future. But I consider myself to be on the "Kate Middleton track." Right now, I can focus on shaping this life into what I want and need it to be. Right now, I can enjoy every single day for exactly what it is.

It's okay to wonder about what happens now. But only person who can answer that question? You. I'm still trying to answer it for myself, but at least now I understand there doesn't need to be an immediate answer. Life really can be enjoyed for each individual day.