Finally…

The past few weeks have felt like a blur.

In many ways, my days have mainly consisted of work and pain, work and pain. While I was in the hospital a few weeks ago I had so much time to think about what I’ve made a priority compared to what is really important.

I was shocked at myself for being so passive when it came to important parts of my life. I think that the part of me that was holding out for ‘what if’ and ‘maybe’ had finally decided that continuing on the path to martyrdom is no fun, and it really hurts.

There’s a lot to say, and a lot to start doing, but this afternoon, while A and I are here removing things we no longer need, I’ll just go with sharing the perfection of Pablo Neruda. I wish I had the talent to say goodbye as beautifully as he did. Instead, I just said goodbye.

“Well, now, if little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you. Little by little if suddenly you forget me, do not look for me for I shall already have forgotten you. If you think it long and mad the wind of banners that passes through my life and you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots, remember that on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms and my roots will set off to seek another land”

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