Wear Red Lipstick…

And that, ladies and gentleman, is my first tip for 2014. Okay, maybe that tip won’t work for everyone, but the idea of standing out, in your own, personal way, is something we can all get behind. For me, it’s going to be as simple as red lipstick.

I used to wear red lipstick all the time. It was my thing. People would wait for me to start applying it after a meal or before going out and say things like “here comes Dee Dee’s lips!” and it was great – red lipstick always managed to make it into my bag, no matter where I was in the world. My favorite red was a MAC in Chili, then I added one of the Viva Glams because it was super red and pretty.

Then I got married for the second time and I noticed that red lipstick stopped being a good thing in my house. It became something that was more of an “are you going to wear that lipstick?” thing and I started to move to pinks and nudes in an effort to tone it down. Tone what down I’m still not sure – but toning down is what happened. I toned down so much that I was left with one last MAC Viva Glam lip-gloss in a light pink and a million tubes of clear lip balms, scattered all over the house.

And so, this morning while out on the trail doing the first new mile of the new year with A, I asked her about red lipstick and she asked why I didn’t wear more of it. And that’s how the new year became about lipsticks and the continued search for a hobby. In some ways, I’ve got to go backwards to go forwards. Like learning to speak all over again, but I didn’t forget how to speak, I just stopped for some reason.

New years get us motivated to test out new things – to start fresh – to clean house or any number of ‘do one thing different’ even if it’s something as simple as buying a new type of paper towel (I bought Sparkle today for the first time, don’t judge). For me, in this space and in real life, it’s about remembering what it felt like way back when before I told myself I needed to be more serious about everything, all the time.

Wearing red lipstick.

Finding a hobby.

Relaxing.

All things I believed, for far too long, were things of the past. I couldn’t do those things because no one would take me serious, or how would my career advance, or how would I take care of A and I financially, blah blah blah and so on so on so on.

Bullshit. Sorry, that’s what all of that was. It was my excuse for pulling out of living and I became the type of martyr I can’t stand.

I joined this ‘hustle’ group last night. Jon Acuff started it and I always find his stuff so awesome. What’s my hustle? I’ve got 30 days (that’s how long this group will last) to start the “40 Year Old’s Guide to Everything” so today is about copyrighting the title (working on that right now) and laying out the hobby plan for the next year. You’re all the first to hear that I’ve chosen the six hobbies I’d like to try on for size this year. I thought I’d do 12, and then realized that was just me being a damned over-achiever as always (and trying to pretend that I didn’t have to come to terms with my love life. Again, don’t judge).

A and I wrote them down, then we deleted some. Then we wrote new ones down, deleted those, and ran through the lists twice more. The only rules I decided to follow were:

1. The hobby had to be able to be started in the Metropolitan New York City Area;
2. I had to set a budget for each hobby (I’ll disclose later, once I figure out what that really means);
3. Each hobby had to be something I’ve always wanted to do but found reasons to pretend I didn’t have the time to try;
4. No hobby could become something I wanted to become a world-class expert in. Period. That’s how I decided what makes for a hobby;
5. I have to make time, intentionally, to find other people who are interested in the same thing and learn why they chose that particular hobby and how they find time to incorporate the hobby into their schedules;
6. All of the hobbies couldn’t be life-threatening. More on that later.

And now, the list:

Knitting: I’ve always imagined I would knit these fantastically wonderful scarves and hats and blankets and sit on my couch wearing these hats and scarves, covered in my soft blanket, reading books and drinking hot chocolate. I think if I can learn what a purl is that’s a great start!

French: I’ve got no foreign language skills that I can discern. But that doesn’t stop me from imaging that I’ll need to speak at least a little French when I move there in a few years and drink all their wine and eat all their cheese while wearing a beret. That I knitted.

Surfing: This has been a life-long dream. I mean, I have imagined myself on a surfboard since I could say that words ‘sex wax’ and I think that with the fact that I can swim – and that I learned that later in life, that I can take that little bit of knowledge and at least get out into the ocean this summer.

Triathlon/Running: I debated this because of my back and because when I start to train, it’s almost always to complete a race. But….my last epidural is tomorrow and my hot doc says I can train, just slowly. So no Iron anything – but I do have three races lined up for late summer/fall and I’ve pledged to know when to stop if necessary;

Cooking: I stopped cooking a lot because A was gone. Now she’s back. And she loves to eat. So there’s both a necessity in this option, and the fun of testing out lots of new recipes. And eating.

Clarinet: I played the clarinet for 10 years before I got married. Then, when I moved to New York, I thought I’d never have time to play again. Being in New Orleans reminded me how much I love jazz and knowing how much I love jazz reminded me of how much I miss my clarinet. So. Clarinet.

And there we have it – 12 months. Six hobbies. For those of us who are well into our adulthood, careers, children, spouses, friends, health, parents, responsibilities, all end up being the priorities. When we stop to try to do things just for us – people ask us why, even if it’s not a verbal ask. The question is still there. I want to understand why the questions exist and why so many of us don’t have the same amount of fun (if not more) as we did when we were children. It can’t just be that this is what happens when we’re adults. It just can’t be.

The 40 Year Old’s Guide to Everything. A Year of Finding What’s Possible.

Copyright, today. Tomorrow, let’s talk about this Seth Godin post “Welcome to Paris” because I know my answer – but I’d rather hear yours.

The post Wear Red Lipstick… appeared first on Bubbles. Deux..