SUNDAY BEST ✝ COME ON A CONE ✝ THE CURIOUS CASE OF SNAPBACK LUKE

Hey bby S U P E R S T A R S!!! For those of you that thought I was dead, rest assured, Niemetz breathes true! Don't forget that you can always keep up on my life outside of my dot com via the following self-promotional Twitter link, a clear bonus for those of you that feel your Twitter feeds are lacking cattiness and Beyoncé. I AM HERE FOR YOU.

I posted a new look on Lookbook (which became my most “successful” thus far (THANK YOU ALL!)) but we'll discuss that in a bit. First, I want to touch on a few reasons behind my brief, unannounced hiatus from the blogosphere. It's not at all my style to drop names in negative context purely due to my personal reservations regarding professionalism. Be that as it may, if I feel strongly enough about any one person, I may make various allusions towards a topic that allows me to lift opinions from my chest without the fear of being a “name-dropper”.

Now, without name-dropping, let's talk about a fictional character. Let's give him a name, oh, I don't know, let's call him Snapback Luke. Snapback Luke has definitely put a fair amount of effort into his “personal brand” and he's become somewhat successful on a website devoted to the showcasing of outfits put together by Luke and his peers, let's call that website “OutfitNovel”. And while Snapback Luke is certainly successful, the question must stand as to whether that success is generated by a talent for outfit construction and self-styling, or by playing into the most basic traits of the mainstream “Urban Outfitters” man. Assuming the latter provides explanation for the acclaim Snapback Luke's “style blog” experiences in light of his sub-par writing style. I'd like to note here that I don't immediately write off any “style blogger” that doesn't write a short essay about each outfit they wear as “sub-par” , but there's a very chiseled line in the cheekbone of literary style between “minimalistic” and “lazy”. But ultimately, my biggest and broadest issue with Snapback Luke is the loss of public focus on what should be most important: the quality of outfit construction.

How does this all tie into my hiatus? As a male fashion blogger, I don't experience nearly the same level of same-sex competition as my fellow females, resulting in a heightened level of awareness towards the male presence in my pool of competition. This may come off slightly whiny (and if that's the case, so be it), but it's incredibly discouraging as an artist to put effort into my art, put said art into the public eye, and see the most acclaimed, albeit still fictional member of my community doing the bare minimum. All of this said, my art is my art. If another member of my community experiences success, it doesn't take away from the quality of my or anyone else's art. Recognition and acclaim is ultimately subjective. Fame is a one of many factors in the self-validation of a stylist. Alternatively, fame pays the bills. To end this rant on a lighter note, I implore my fellow stylists to always keep innovation in mind. There's no fault to be found in paying homage, but make it fresh, make it new, make it yours. Also, always remember that you can never be too humble, but you can easily get too cocky. Also, baseball caps are out. They just are. No more caps (unless you're going for a “chola” look and blowing a bubble of LeBron's Lightning Lemonade Bubblicious, then it's okay, but ask first).

With my art remaining my art, I'd like to introduce you all to my Easter look. I tried to put my own Niemetz twist on some classic Easter symbolism (Christianity, pastels, Spring weather, the elderly) and dress myself in the result. My attitude throughout the shooting of this outfit was influenced by Nicki Minaj's 2nd album release, “Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded”, the “rap” portion of which served as background mood music. Here is “SUNDAY BEST ✝ COME ON A CONE"

Tasso Elba sweater, Calvin Klein shirt, Denim of Virtue jeans, Fratelli Rossetti shoes, Topshop rosary, Ben Sherman belt, secondhand glasses, secondhand bracelet
How did I do, bbys? Did I fulfill your hidden Easter desires? Did you fantasize about me hopping down your chimney (or through your floorboards or however the Easter bunny gets into your house) and leaving a basket chock-full of chocolate-coated dietary supplements, bubblegum cigarettes, and black DIY-studded easter eggs? Good, I tried. I've had this sweater hanging ten in my closet since December, but it's taken me this long to finally wear it and now I'm PISSED for having spent all winter browsing past it, only to think “Well, I could wear this today... or I could wear something that isn't comfortable, well-constructed, and a gorgeous shade of periwinkle." Does anyone know why I make these choices? I do, BECAUSE I'M STUPID. Thankfully, I believe in a strong hoarding policy when it comes to my wardrobe, only parting with pieces when A) they've decomposed beyond salvaging or B) I can re-gift them to a friend that will put them to better use. I just can't donate my sweaters away to charity, I just can't. If I ever walk into a Taco Bell and see Snapback Luke dribbling his crunchwrap supreme down the front of my ex-Ralph Lauren, I'll just die. Thanks to said policy, this sweater will probably last me through at least my mid-20's.

Alright, so let's talk about my pants now. LET'S TALK ABOUT MY CLOUD PANTS! I got these bbys in a Savers for...guess how much? $10? $5? NO, ONE DOLLAR! A DOLLAR TO BRING THE SKIES TO MY THIGHS AND I really just could not have been happier. Great deal aside, I'm slowly becoming a bigger and bigger fan of Denim of Virtue, the L.A.-based premium denim brand that created the aerial masterpiece plastered across my legs. In addition to the ethereal print, they've got that awesome "soft denim" texture going on without the gossamer delicacy that often accompanies softer denim blends. Also, they have potential to grant you with the power of flight if you just *~B E L I E V E~*

This shot is more to showcase two things: 1) My favorite spiked bracelet, and 2) My best attempt at a Madeline Pendleton face. The bracelet was the result of an ex-lover's attempt to throw out unwanted junk, prompting Niemetz intervention. "YOU'RE THROWING OUT ALL OF THIS??? WHAT??? NO, I CAN FIND A USE FOR THIS. AND THIS. AND ALL OF THESE RIBBONS, I MIGHT USE THEM FOR SOMETHING, SOMEDAY, ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY???" Had I not been there, this tarnished leather beauty would be in a dump, buried under piles of fermented Thai food and reliving the gloom of it's goth guardians past. The face...I've made better faces. I just really wanted to go for an "I don't really care if I look interested but I'll look at the camera and pretend that I am but you all know that I'm not but I don't care let my eyes mesmerize you" but I don't really have her eyes and I really don't have her lips so WHATEVER, I'll just stick to what I know and only show my profile because I'm clearly not symmetrically desirable.

I don't know why I like to end my posts with these hipster-friendly, grayscale outtakes, but I do. You can also find me on Tumblr now, posting Wynter Gordon mp3's and pictures like the above because I have NOTHING BETTER TO DO AT ALL. Oh, also, did you all like my hair??? I bought up all of the temp colored hairspray back in Halloween, so I've been having an occasional day devoted to frolicking around with metallic silver hair, but this outfit utilized the last canister in my stash :( SO IF ANYONE WANTS TO SEND ME BULK QUANTITIES OF SILVER/GOLD/BLUE/WHATEVER HAIRSPRAY, let me know and I'll hook you up with my P.O. box and devote my life to you <3333 mwah

To close, I want to thank you guys so much for making this look my most-hyped on Lookbook so far and whoever left this in my Tumblr ask box, thank you INFINITELY! I would be lost without all of you, you are my bbys until the end of time!
Leave me a comment and let me know if you want to buy my cloud pants (i will charge you $500,000 because they're not for sale EVER) xoxo