Life Purpose Post

Preface: This post is a bit longer than most. But…it’s an important topic and I had to get it out there. Thank you for taking the time to read it.

Over the past weeks, months, and (yes) years, I’ve been asking myself (and others!) what my Life Purpose is.

Some days, the question seems to take on a life all its own and absolutely puts me out of commission. My mind is in a funk. And I feel like I can barely breathe.

It’s a scary feeling.

I recently came across this post from Chance Scoggins. It hit me in a strange, between-the-eyes way. At first, I was like, “Dude…you don’t have a clue.”

But then I thought about it some more. And, I ended up reading a section of Joel Osteen’s book titled Every Day a Friday that spoke to me in a very deep way.

Joel says:

“Remember, you don’t have to impress anybody. You don’t have to prove who you are. You are a child of the Most High God, anointed, equipped, empowered. Keep your shoulders back. Keep your head held high. Be secure in who God made you to be. If you will stay free from a spirit of competition and just run your race, you’ll not only enjoy your life more, but you’ll also see your gifts and talents come out to the full. Because when you celebrate others, God will celebrate you.”

I like lists. A lot. So I thought this would be a great project where I could create some lists. And some clarity to this whole life-purpose dilemma.

So here’s what I came up with. It’s the old three and five trick.

Three roles.

Five areas of improvement for each of the roles.

My Three Major Life Roles

• Husband
• Father
• Manager

What are five things I can do, starting RIGHT NOW, to be a better Husband?

1. Listen more intently when my wife wants to share something with me.
2. Take more of a leadership role in keeping our home looking good. Help more with housework and yard work. I’ve always been willing to do my part. However, I need to start INITIATING the process, instead of waiting to be asked to help. This will help my wife and will also show Matt that home-keeping is not just a ‘mom thing’. Mom and Dad share the chores. Keeping our house in good shape is an important life lesson for him to learn.
3. Take a more active role in helping make sure my son completes his daily chores around the house. I also need to take the lead role in making sure he’s ready for school by getting things ready the night before. Both of us have back packs and lunch bags and other items that can be made ready the night before. There are too many times when he’s forgotten something – running shoes, his percussion stick bag, or even his student ID card. Planning and a possible checklist will help cure that problem.
4. Help figure out what we’re having for dinner each weeknight. There’s just the three of us at home now, since Nate is at college. Nate was somewhat of a ‘picky eater’. (Nate, if you’re reading this, please –no offense, dude, but it’s true!) Matt is more easy-going and will eat whatever we fix. There might be times when we all pour a bowl of cereal (salad for me) or have a bowl of soup and a ham sandwich. Again – a salad for me, thanks! I’m going to try to start having a meal planning meeting on Sunday afternoon so we can plot out our weekly
5. Help us stay within our financial budget. With a kid in college, my wife and I have to do a better job with our money. I need to take a more active role in the bill-paying and budgeting process. My wife has always taken care of the money matters. While she’s done a great job, it’s not all her responsibility. We’re in this together! And, while we’re not in the poor house, there are a few areas where we can be smarter with our money. One of them is me – and eating out for lunch every day. I have to start taking my lunch to work.

What are five things I can do, starting RIGHT NOW, to be a better Father?

1. I need to show more interest in the things that interest my kids – especially with Matt, since he’s the only one at home these days.
2. Be more patient with Matt. He’s at the beginning of adolescence and is acting a little crazy right now.
3. Spend time with Matt each evening. Whether it’s ‘what’s going on at school this week?’ or ‘tell me how your cross-country practice went’ or throwing a Frisbee with him in the back yard. I need to show him that I genuinely care about the things that are going on in his life.
4. Don’t hover over the college kid. Nate needs his independence. I need to stop texting him and sending him emails every day. I’m over-the-edge on that stuff. I’m having a tougher time than I thought with him being away. I need to find a way to handle that.
5. Set a better example. Including the words I use, the attitude I have, and by picking up after myself. And by being more of a Godly man. In addition to telling Matt how he should behave, I need to SHOW him. It’s true: actions speak louder than words. {Click here to Tweet that.}

What are five things I can do, starting RIGHT NOW, to be a better Manager?

1. I’m going to say “Good Morning” to everyone on my team, on an individual basis. Every day.
2. Meet with each team member weekly to go over their projects, etc. I will coach them through issues and keep them feeling like an integral part of the team. Because they ARE.
3. Share positive feedback with them when they do something good. Keep them motivated to perform well.
4. Share negative feedback with them and make it a coaching/learning/opportunity for improvement moment. Allow them to be part of the solution.
5. Improve my communication with them. We need to meet at least twice a month, as a group, to keep everyone in the loop on things. In between the group meetings, I need to make sure that important information is delivered to them via e-mail. They need to know about anything that might impact their workday.

So, there you have it. My list of action items.

I honestly think that my life purpose is much more ‘grounded’ than I thought. Not some pie-in-the-sky thing.

It’s who I am. Where I am. What I’m doing. In the moment.

Day by day. I can do this!

Your Turn: What are some things YOU can do to get closer to your Life Purpose? It doesn’t have to be some GRANDIOSE plan. You can make it a whole lot simpler by breaking things down to your major life roles…and your daily routine. Try it!

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