Identity-Marred Clay

This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: “Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.” So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.
You may have read in my last post, God has really been speaking to my heart lately on the topic of identity. I wrote a post about this beautiful image God gave me one day walking to school about how He wants to be the sole autograph on my heart.
Since then He has continued to grow me and stretch me and remake me in this area of identity.
I believe that one of the greatest reasons God chose to bring me all the way to Australia was so that he could help me find my true identity-in him.
By nature I am a people pleaser, to the extreme. I have realized in the past few months that so much of my identity was formed through trying to please other people and trying to fit into a mold that I thought would be the most pleasing to them. Meanwhile, I forgot to ask God what He thought about who I had become.
I am certainly not blaming anyone, this is no ones fault but my own, which means it is my own responsibility to change it.
So why share something as personal as this journey on such a public platform?
As I talk to other women here who I believe are incredible, anointed, and just down right amazing I began to realize how much ground we have given the enemy in this sphere of our lives. So many women are wavering or simply crumbling in the area of their identity.
“Am I good enough?” “Am I pretty enough?” “Did I do well enough to make them proud of me?” “Do they see me?” “Am I worth being seen?”
It seems that we all have questions and doubts in our minds like these but we keep quiet about it because we “aren’t suppose to be” adults who have somehow lost their identity along the journey. But the truth is, countless women have lost a piece of their identity throughout the journey of life whether it be through similar situations as my own, marriage, motherhood, or any other number of possibilities. When I read the verse above I realized that though I have been in his hands, I have allowed my pot to become “marred” by allowing God’s hands to be pushed away by the molding hands of others. Now God is asking me to allow him to take me back to that beginning stage, so that he can remake a pot that is a perfect vessel to house everything He has put within me.
It sounds so beautiful and poetic, but basically He is asking me to go back to mush. It is vulnerable and the capacity of a lump of clay is nearly zero, but the potential of that clay when shaped only by God is limitless.
A few weeks ago I was in class with my tutorial instructor and I was talking to her one-on-one after class. She is normally rather direct, but she looked at me in a very motherly way and without me saying a word to her about anything she stopped me and said, “You care about other people don’t you?” I said “yes, too much.” With my answer she smiled and wrapped me up in this big hug. Then she whispered in my ear “I did too, once.”
Now if you knew this woman you would never guess that she would have ever looked like the insecure mess I often am. She is bold and confident. Fierce. Fearless.
Watching her and her life lived out before me tells me what my identity looks like when I tune into what He says about me and listen a lot less to what others say about me.
It changes everything about the way you live. You start to live bolder because you are no longer walking on eggshells wondering if what you are doing, saying, or who you are becoming is pleasing to those around you.
You are fearless to peruse the dreams and desires in your heart because you are only fearful of what happens if you don’t rather than if you do.
And you are finally designed in a way that fits your purpose. Instead of trying to complete everything God has placed in your heart to do through striving, you approach it from a place of rest and grace because you allowed Him to make you into a vessel for this very purpose.
When we allow “The Potter” to mold and shape us we can be sure that who we are is exactly who He needs us to be on the earth to fulfill His plans and purpose!