Your *Mom* Loves Mindy
There’s no impression like the first one, which is why it was either unfortunate or a foreshadow-y blessing in disguise that Danny Castellano’s mom thought Mindy was the housekeeper upon meeting her.
The laugh from Danny’s deadpan delivery of said news was another important first impression last night, because two seconds after the punchline dropped came the old intro song that we’ve either grown to love or accepted but hate: “beep-beep,beep-beep, boop-boop.” What even is that? A xylophone?
Dr. Castellano reveals he hasn’t actually told his mom (Annette) about their relationship. “She’s difficult,” he explains. “She’s never liked any of my ex-girlfriends.” But Mindy, being Mindy, has a plan.
In other news, Peter walks in on Morgan, who is peeing while sitting down with the door open. (I just found out guys can pee this way about two weeks ago and I have to be honest, it blew my mind.) Tamra, who I forgot was dating Morgan, apparently forbade him from peeing whilst standing because it “looks like singing in the rain.” Peter tells Morgan he’s whipped, Morgan agrees to stand up to Tamra and in doing so falls over, off the toilet, because his legs have fallen asleep.
Back in the waiting room of Schulman & Associates, Danny is visited by his mom and his hot younger brother who played Divya Narendra in the Social Network. Danny tells his Annette/his mom that Mindy is his girlfriend, Annette apologizes, and Mindy explains that it happens all the time: “One Thanksgiving, a little boy thought I was the Dora the Explorer balloon.” We see a moment of hope for the mother/not daughter relationship.
Hope floats, however, when it’s revealed that Danny and his brother are taking their mom out to a birthday brunch at the same exact time Mindy’s scheduled to perform a C-section. Shady.
Cut to the next scene at an expensive looking restaurant. Danny’s halfway through reading the appetizers out loud to the table (featuring Danny, Annette, Annette’s best friend, and Divya Narendra) when who should appear in a bright pink blazer dress with gem-encrusted snaps but Cameron Winklevoss! Oh wait, whoops, wrong movie, sorry, the Divya thing keeps throwing me off –
– when who should appear in a bright pink blazer dress with gem-encrusted snaps but Mindy Lahiri! And no one looks happy to see her.
BUT. Like a Winklevoss triplet, Mindy is an Olympic athlete of the world’s hardest sport: getting your boyfriend’s mom to like you.
Mindy’s Rules to Winning Over Moms:
Step 1 – Compliment her
Step 2 – Find common ground in a television show. Run to the bathroom and Google if you’re unfamiliar with the show she brought up.
Step 3- Come bearing gifts and don’t forget about the mom’s friend
Step 4 – Agree with everything the mom says. (It’s freezing! Enough with Michael Fassbender’s penis! The waiter is rude!)
It works. Mindy wins her over and all is going exceptionally well, until Danny gives his mom a new oven as opposed to what she really wanted (which was for Helen, the waitress at her favorite diner, to die. K.). Annette refuses the gift (even though it’s already installed), Danny looks devastated, Divya’s present of a stuffed bear gets a standing ovation (shitty gift for a millionaire, no?) and Mindy breaks cardinal rule #4 — agree with everything — and stands up for Danny to Annette.
This was not the move. Annette goes off on a guilt-rant about how she’s clearly a burden on Danny and doesn’t want him helping her financially any more, which he apparently does on the reg.
She then turns to Mindy and clarifies what we’ve been wondering all brunch: “I do not like you.”
The Winklevii have been defeated again.
Meanwhile the very strange Peter/Morgan/Tamra subplot continued to unfold:
- Tamra grants Morgan freedom to pee while standing up, Peter coins the term “Mazel Brov!” (like Mazel Tov/Mazel, bro) in congratulations.
- It’s TOO SOON, though, because now Tamra wants Morgan to sell all of his dogs (I think he has like, 40 or something?) because she’s allergic.
- Peter thinks Tamra’s lying because he’s wounded from what’s-her-face who made out with made-for-tv-Hugh-Grant last week, shoves a dog named Nicole in her face to prove it, she goes into anaphylaxis shock (Tamra, not Nicole) and Morgan has to stab Tamra with an EpiPen which makes it a very good thing that they work in a doctor’s office.
- Tamra’s fine, all three of them make up, Morgan’s allowed to keep all 40 dogs because Tamra agrees to start taking allergy medicine, and in one big happy family moment, Morgan gives Peter the gift of Nicole — the fluffy pomeranian with hemorrhoids.
But the sweet ending doesn’t there — we still have bows to tie up in Mindy’s world.
Snooping per usual in Danny’s office, she steals his phone, calls Danny’s mom whose voicemail reveals she’s gone back to working as a hotel housekeeper so that she doesn’t have to rely on her son.
Mindy heads to Staten Island where she finds Annette lying on the floor of the hotel she’s house-keeping with a popped-out hip. Annette won’t let her help her, and so in the show’s second act of aggressive medicine last night, Mindy more or less attacks Annette, resets her hip and the two women have a good, old fashioned bonding session.
The episode concludes with mom, Mindy and Danny at the home he grew up in. They’re the picture of happiness — Mindy is chopping vegetables, Annette is using her new stove.
After a Hallmark meal the two retreat to Danny’s childhood bedroom where, under the posters of many mustached men, Annette interrupts their three-seconds-too-long ear make out session to yell at Mindy for giving her son a boner.
Ah, relationships. Just when you think everything is perfect, someone gets stabbed with an EpiPen.
Now your turn: do you like Morgan and Tamra together? Does anyone have a weird crush on Peter? Did anyone think it was funny when Danny started unbuttoning Mindy’s dress because he thought it was a “little trench”? Does anyone else miss Betsy?
