Pretty Little Things

It’s always GIF season in this house, but as the clock strikes 5 on this November evening after a day that was so cold I’m surprised the sun didn’t crack in half like a dang egg, it officially becomes GIFT season. You can blame Beyoncé for the T if you want.

Gift season is overwhelming — no one has money, no one feels like buying Barbara a present since she usually never returns the favor. The hardest part, of course, is figuring out what to get, because even though no one wants to get Barbara a gift, most of us harbor this weird desire to be THE BEST PRESENT GIVER EVER.

And then we get swallowed whole by such added pressure.

The first thing to remind yourself when playing normal-eared elf (sorry if you have pointy ears) is that it’s the thought that counts ahahahaha just kidding.

The only thing you need to think about when shopping for someone else is: would I want to receive this myself?

If the answer is yes, it’s probably a great gift.

So what if you and Barb have wildly different taste? That’s IDEAL. It means she opens it, goes, “Um…thanks for the…nipple tassels?” And then you get to be like, “Oh girl, don’t be silly. If you don’t like nipple tassels, let me take them off your hands! White-Elephant trade ya for this fresh roll of toilet paper I just received.”

You get nipple tassels, she gets a clean butt, and everyone goes home happy. Win win, chin chin.

…Or you could buy a few pretty little things, disperse as necessary, then call it a day.

For example, what about this grey swing coat from J. Crew? (You can currently take 35% off, bling bling).

Or this set of Stella McCartney days-o-the-week underchampions?

What about this candle that will look awesome (no clue how it smells, but that’s not the point) when paired next to these rose gold shades. COLOR STORY.

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