Underrated Fashion: Seinfeld’s Various Girlfriends
Seinfeld’s Kramer had style: Hawaiian shirts, high-waisted pleated slacks, polyester everything and a signature trench. But it was Jerry’s various girlfriends — the brave dalliances of the show’s eponymous normcore star — who should be credited with outfits to replicate now. Has 1990’s butt-warping denim ever felt more relevant?
Jerry’s girlfriends wore things like ribbed turtlenecks and large blazers with the sleeves rolled, bras as shirts and artfully hole-y sweaters. If American Girl dolls are today’s Urban Outfitters models, then the women of Seinfeld’s past look straight out of an ASOS catalog.
They’re whom I used to picture when thinking about powerful ‘90s women of New York. Growing up in the Midwest, I had two things to reference: this show, and Linda Evangelista’s Versace ads. Thanks to fashion’s resurrection of that very decade and the show’s eternal syndication (which allows for one to binge on Seinfeld episodes regardless of cable status), it’s time these women received credit for their underrated ensembles. I’ve narrowed the list down to Jerry’s five most stylish, short-lived lovers:
Nina (The Artist)
She’s probably the closest adopter of “grunge” that Jerry dates. Played by the beautiful, wild-maned Catherine Keener, Nina the Artist is a notable forerunner for me. This is actually how artists dress. I know because my mom is an artist and this is exactly how she dresses. Ratty men’s sweaters (the more worn-in, the better), half slung overalls, and t-shirts with paint splatters. Artists are cool because they don’t give a shit about clothes — or fit, for that matter. They have more important things to worry about, like their cigarettes, their craft or the untrustworthy comedian they’re dating. Please note her oversized-pearl hair tie. Karl Lagerfeld, is this what inspired those chokers?
Christie (The Repeat Offender)
We all know that getting dressed can sometimes be as fun as inserting a tampon at the wrong angle. So can you really blame Christie? We all have that outfit: the one you put on when you can’t be bothered to put anything coherent together, and you know you won’t be mistaken for a 15-year-old boy in it, either. It’s the outfit that is both utilitarian enough for your apathy and just stylish enough for your neurosis.
Christie was true to herself by wearing hers, well, everyday. This is not recommended because should someone notice (especially if he or she finds an old photo of you in the repeat outfit) then he/she might go crazy trying to figure out if you’re a potential maniac. Still, Christie gets points for persistence and maintaining her aesthetic.
Isabel (The Siren)
Is anyone not attracted to 1990s Tawny Kitaen? Answer: no. Her character Isabel gave Jerry’s wiener and brain something to fight over. True, Isabel wasn’t bright, or talented, but her style was spot on. Let’s break down the elevator look, shall we? Body-con black mini dress, purple suede gloves, drape-y mustard jacket…the quintessential ‘90s babe. I feel like you could see this in the Opening Ceremony store on Howard Street, worn by a mousey DJ with silver hair and a septum piercing, It works on a lot of levels, but is indisputably best on the memorable “Isabel.”
Sue Ellen (The Braless Wonder)
Sue Ellen is wearing a bra here, but only because Elaine gave it to her — and then Sue Ellen stopped wearing tops. This “menace to society” was so before her time. Who hasn’t tried a variation of this at home before going out?
The bra says “I know you’re looking anyway” and the blazer says “I don’t have time. It’s the ’90s and I’m working.” I think we can all take something from Sue Ellen’s confidence. I often go braless and you can too. If you get dirty looks, just glare back at them — straight in their anti-feminist eyes — and say “I’m pulling a Sue Ellen and it works, okay?” Alas, Sue Ellen and Jerry never actually dated, but she makes the list for inspiring everyone, from me to Lady Gaga.
Sidra (The Maneater)
Teri Hatcher-as-Sidra slayed in this episode. When we weren’t gawking at her in the sauna with Elaine, we admired her in what I like to call “powerful cas(ual)” with just a hint of Southwest (very common in this decade). For me, Sidra wins. The high-waisted denim, long sleeve boat neck (a crotch-connecting leotard, no doubt), chunky jewelry and belt dominate everything. When simplicity won over bulkiness in the ’90s, the era redeemed itself. (Thanks Calvin.)
Sidra was a super empowered beauty with breasts so spectacular they begged the question of authenticity. But isn’t that what style is all about, anyway? Knowing your best attributes and then celebrating them with clothes that make you feel great? That’s what I learned from the plethora of Seinfeld’s women.
Written by Mary Sucaet
