This Time 5 Years Ago (and why style matters to me)

It took place almost exactly 5 years ago in a fancy-shmancy athletic club in downtown Portland.

I sat alone on a bench watching my friend play in a tennis match. I was there in body, but my mind and spirit had been missing for a couple of weeks by now.

Four women who appeared to be in their late 40's sat a few yards away on the bench ahead of me. They had opened a bottle of white wine and were talking incessantly about the "crazy Oregon weather," how one's nanny can't seem to arrive on time and the unfortunate fact that one of them "hates" the new car their spouse just bought them. I was trying to tune them out when one of them began to talk about a topic that was eerily similar to what was happening in my life at this time.

She had just found out that her husband was having another affair. She decided she was at a point in her life with her kids, a home she loved and just general financial comfort that she just had to accept it. Her friends made comments of anger toward her husband and then comments of understanding toward her decision to stay in the relationship.

Then the woman said something that I'll never forget. While fumbling with her empty wine glass, she murmured in a somewhat detached sad tone, "I should have left after the first affair 15 years ago."
Read more »