Falling with Grace
Usually, when I get on my mat to practice yoga, my world shrinks down to those four corners and everything that lies between. It’s like tunnel vision. Everything else falls away and my focus settles on me, my breath and my body.
It’s taken me a long time but I’m no longer self-conscious in class, comparing myself, my flexibility, my body to others around me. Through a lot of practice, I’ve learned to hone in on what my body needs in the moment – whether it’s a modification or a variation of a pose or child’s pose. I no longer worry that the teacher is going to think I didn’t hear him or her or that I’m being a “bad” student.
I lose balance and fall out of poses all the time. There’s an interesting reserve of kindness and compassion that emerges when I’m on the my mat that keeps judgement at bay and allows me to try again.
Fall, breathe, and do it again.
Fall, breathe, and do it again.
But lately, I’ve been falling and it’s rattled me – on the mat and in life in general. Where I can usually dust myself off and stand up again, I find myself sitting on the floor and sulking (figuratively). OK, that might be an exaggeration but the Polar Vortex, snow days and potential snow days don’t help.
In yoga, this constant flow of thoughts is often referred to as Citta Vritti or the chitchat of the mind (that’s how I like to think about it). It’s the constant and restless conversation in our head and one of the true purposes of yoga is to still those thoughts – not eliminate them but still them as in acknowledging and then rewriting negative thoughts and stories into something positive, to see how those thoughts might be obscuring the true self or true reality.
Lately, I’ve been letting the Citta Vritti run rampant and bounce around like pinballs. Then I read this post by my friend Melissa about utilizing an #optimistflip. Then I read this post by my friend Martha and this line in particular:
“It’s our responsibility to live fully, which can’t happen when we hover in a corner afraid of what comes next.”
Stilling the Citta Vritti may mean acknowledging the emotions and thoughts that arise during difficult or uncomfortable times and stopping them in their tracks. It may mean not letting your thoughts hold you hostage (like refusing to get up when you fall). It may mean flipping your perspective.
But you learn to fall gracefully again, to get up and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
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