Supermarket Sweep Chez Chanel
“You think that’s all I do, I’m just a ditz with a credit card?” asked Cher Horowitz in Clueless, as she wondered if her hobby of hanging out in a shopping mall might dent her chance of true love. Well, Karl Lagerfeld seems to approve of ditzes with credit cards, the world over. In fact, he erected a shopping centre (they called it that, but it was more of a hypermarket) themed around Chanel in their honour, at the Grand Palais, where prices are 20-50% up, not off, and everything came with the perma-cool cachet of Chanel branding and referencing.
The oooh-ing and aaah-ing of this particular Chanel set, topped last season’s faux art gallery. It took at least forty-five minutes just to get people to sit down at their seats because they couldn’t resist wandering through the shopping aisles, feasting their eyes on product, glorious product. A leg of Jambon Cambon? Risotto rice a la Venere Elsa? Aunt Adrienne’s Configure? A bottle of cleaning mousse called Boy? Coco Pops cereal? The list went on and on. An Instagram barrage of pics and selfies ensued (woe upon the ppl who only follow fashion peeps and had their feeds bombarded by samey images). Like kids in a candy store, we indulged. Some people overdid it.
Once we finally did sit down, we got clothes. Lots of them. Brilliant clothes at that. They sparkled, shimmered and were texturally rich, as it always had been at Chanel. Later in the showroom, you could liken many of the surfaces to hundreds and thousands or elaborate cupcake decorations. Lagerfeld has been pushing a “sportier” silhouette. Well, as sporty as a pair of tweed tracksuit bottoms and matching jacket can be. The trainers, a trickle down from the couture show, helped wave the sporty flag. In this pick n’ mix, there was something for everyone (I didn’t see them in the show but turns out there was actual dolly bead candy jewellery just to aassert the whole sweet analogy). Next season’s kitsch-o-rama bag will be the 2.55 encased in a lamb’s leather covered polystyrene-a-like tray and wrapped in cling film (yes it will be produced exactly like this for the customer to do with the cling film as they wish) or the wire basket covered in Chanel chains. Some Chanel-nuts will be toting them around the Harrods Food Hall for sure. Models did their very best to do the shopwalk, pushing trolleys, carrying baskets and contemplating whether a bag of Chanel cotton balls was a sound purchase. They walked repeatedly in front of you so you could look at the clothes. Yes, this was still about the clothes, despite the setup.
That said, the punchline of this spectacle occurred after the models had done their campy exits with Lagerfeld dragging out a bratty Cara Delevigne, who had overloaded the shopping trolley. It was announced that the Chanel Shopping Centre would be closing and that we could help ourselves to complimentary fruit and veg. Instead though, editors pounced on the non-perishable items with the Mademoiselle Prive doormats being the number one prized item to go first (Katie Grand nabbed the first one I think) followed by Chanel gardening gloves and safety tabards. They were veritable Chanel-branded garments afterall and this audience’s appetite needed to be sated.
I watched in vague fear and slight bemusement. I was thinking when something is too good to be true, it often is. I gingerly picked up a Chanel biscuit tin, slightly disappointed that nothing was inside. I could have done with a biscuit brekkie. Then news started to filter in that security guards were confiscating everyone’s loot (the lady who filled up two bin bags worth of stuff must have been gutted). Nothing was to be taken, apart from the fruit and veg and bags of candy (Chanel jacket shaped gummy sweet, anyone?). That was Lagerfeld getting the last laugh. You can look and touch, but don’t you take. That’s pretty much Chanel in a nutshell for most of the population unless you buy into the fruit/veg equivalent in the make-up and perfume.
People have been taking umbrage at the perceived idea that Lagerfeld is making some smirking comment on 21st century consumerism. PoT, kettle and black, they say. On the contrary, Lagerfeld is celebrating it and exercising his ferocious skill of instilling primal desire, which he has done so well at Chanel over the years. It’s a deliberately over-the-top showcase of canny dexterity, that’s even a touch arrogant. Lagerfeld has earned that show-off right. Those that also criticissed the show for going overboard on the kitsch afnd that Coco Chanel would be rolling in her grave – well, as witnessed here, kitsch sells. If a group of fashion industry insiders went insane at this Chanel Supermarket Sweep, think what would mainstream consumers do? Come August/September, they’ll ooh and aah over the shop displays, walk into the stores and touch up the clingfilm bags and a small minority will buy the lot of it. The Chanel Shopping Center is open to everyone to engage with, but for the select few, they get to walk out of the door with goods in hand. Credit card ditzes wait in anticipation.
