Weddings Bring out the Crazy, Right?

I’ve mentioned in the past that we’ve had some family drama. My parents are divorced (not at all amicably) and my dad is remarried—to a woman 20 years younger. (I mean, you’re going to see my wedding pictures; it’s not exactly a secret.) Both Clover Dad & his wife were previously married, and they got married when my sister and I were in our 20s (which is why you may notice I refer to her as my dad’s wife—it seems strange to call her my stepmother).

That’s a tricky situation, and it hasn’t always been pretty.

We’ve had several pretty long periods in which we’ve had almost no contact with her, and she didn’t meet Shamrock until we were engaged. The four of us sat down together, and one of the things K (Dad’s wife) emphasized was that she really wanted the time leading up to the wedding to be special for us, and she wanted to do everything possible to make it that way.

I was still concerned—after all, we’ve had a lot of issues in the past (and things are still quite rocky between K and MOH Sis—ironic since virtually everyone thinks MOH Sis is the nicer sister!).

Fast forward to the fall, and we’ve had dinner together a few times. She even offered to plan our rehearsal dinner, which she and my father also offered to host. She took care of some hair & makeup arrangements. And she also wanted to know if I’d like another shower—she knew my bridesmaids were throwing a lovely shower for my friends, but thought it would nice to have one for family and my parents’ friends.

Mama Clover isn’t the hosting type, so I knew she wouldn’t want to throw one, but she said she would be happy to attend.

And that is how I ended up in a room at a restaurant with my mother, my dad’s wife, two friends and family members, and friends of both my parents and Shamrock’s.

Given the history, this was a scary occasion—I remember Mrs. Camel writing about this topic, first about how worried she was and then about how well her rehearsal dinner went.

And honestly, hive, I couldn’t have been more pleasantly surprised.

I mean, my dad still hates my mom.

But his wife? She was so lovely to everyone. Only one of their friends was able to attend the shower (and only two could attend the wedding), but she was still so happy to be able to host everyone, coming up with an icebreaker, gift-opening bingo, and cute favors. We also had a nice talk after all the “things” were over, but the best part? She and my mom talked. They never really have before, and she assured my mom she doesn’t have any hard feelings toward her, and she wants them to be able to be friends (in the sense that they can be in the same space at the same time and have a nice chat, not so much that they’ll go out to dinner or something).

And the wedding? More of the same. I’m still a little unsure that we’ll be sunshine and butterflies for life, but this is such a welcome change.

So that drama? Off the table, thankfully.

But apparently I can’t make it through unscathed…one of my aunts has been having issues that have gotten worse in the past couple of years, and started really harassing me and my mom. So it was back to the how-to-deal-with-difficult-people drawing board.

Anyone else pleasantly surprised at an undramatic situation? Did a wedding finally make things better for a tricky relationship?

• chicago
• family

Mrs. Clover

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