A Promise for the New Year

I'm not a big fan of New Year's Resolutions. I hate going to the gym or Bikram after New Years, as it's always filled with people who are just trying to fulfill a resolution for a quick fix (for the most part - and I say this because come mid-February, and the gym is back to its normal, quieter self).

It seems like resolutions are never something that is kept - and if they are kept (hats off to you!), it's done more out of obligation versus feeling good about it (I've been SO guilty of groaning, "Ugh, I don't want to go to the damn gym, but I made that stupid resolution and don't want to be a quitter.").

This year though, rather than make a resolution, which I feel like is becoming one of those cliche things, I want to promise myself something.

I really need to love myself more, and I want to promise myself that I will try every day to love myself.

I'm ridiculously hard on myself, as I'm sure a lot of us are. There are times that I joke that I'm my own worst enemy, when it's actually not funny - I truly am my own hardest critic, and there are times when I am downright nasty to myself. I call it being a perfectionist, when really, I'm just being a mean, brutal bitch - but towards myself, not towards anyone else, which is so damaging. This year I feel like I've let body image really take a hold on my life in a negative way, and that's something that I truly need to combat to be happy with myself inside and out.

I want to promise myself that I will be okay with myself even when I mess up and eat three cookies instead of going to the gym.

I want to stop staring at my reflection and pick on all the things that I don't like about myself, but instead find the things about me that I do like.

I want to be okay with the fact that I do need to work a little harder now to stay in shape.

I want to focus on the things I'm good at - teaching, being financially responsible, having a decent sense of humor - instead of thinking of all the things I'm awful at.

I want to wear a bikini this summer without feeling like I need to run 6 miles beforehand.

I want to go somewhere wearing minimal makeup and genuinely not caring about if anyone has anything to say.

I want to eat carbs and focus on how delicious they are, not about how much I'm going to have to work out afterwards.

I want to drink less during the week - more water, less booze.

I want to express how I'm feeling and not hold back - I struggle with feeling like my feelings/emotions are valid, and so I often hold back, which is emotionally damaging (and unhealthy/unfair - especially in my relationships).

I want to eat more fruits and vegetables (and make more green juice!), because I feel really freaking good whenever I eat more of these things.

I want to feel so good about myself that it radiates - not because I'm so arrogant that I don't see where I need to change, but because I'm okay with my strengths and weaknesses balancing out.

*~*

These are not going to be quick fixes - but I really want to focus on reshaping my view of myself for this new year - with more positivity that I truly believe will manifest into so many other areas of my life.

I truly hope that you all had a beautiful holiday, and that your New Year's Eve is equally wonderful and sparkly (I will be ignoring the "drink less during the week" thing for NYE, but will be very sparkly, so it evens out, right?). I also hope that you make realistic resolutions/goals to better yourselves, because you are all truly wonderful and beautiful people, inside and out!

xox

Currently: Watching Bar Rescue, which I have been doing for HOURS. Ah!