On The Plus Side: What I Learned From Going Viral In My Underwear

The past few weeks have been a total blur. From the moment the Fashionista article on the relationship between plus size retailers and customers began to ruffle feathers, life has been a bit of a whirlwind. From there, I wrote an opinion piece for TIME expanding on my experience in the plus size fashion industry, appeared in The Daily Mirror alongside a story on the fatkini movement, and then the Dear Kate Ada Collection Lookbook began to make waves. The waves continued to get bigger and bigger, as excitement turned to controversy, and controversy turned into me (and five other ladies) going viral worldwide in my underwear. It’s been difficult to quantify what the experience has been like, but I learned a few lessons along the way that I’d like to share.

1. We have to come together as a gender before we can truly move forward - Since the Dear Kate lookbook featured women in technology as a nod to Ada Lovelace, I expected an array of reactions from male dominated tech media. I could not, however, conceive that the majority of negative reactions would come from women. The women that I was photographed alongside are intelligent, talented, admirable, capable, beautiful women, which in no way enhances or detracts from their ability to perform their job. I’ve seen tweets, articles, and comments from women who wholeheartedly believed that the images set women in technology “back 15 years”. Fox News even asked me if I thought that appearing in the campaign would hinder our careers and if we’d be taken less seriously in the workplace. A piece on Medium included comments from men in an attempt to bolster the author’s argument, but only further illustrated the gender gap, which leads me to my second point…
2. There is a difference between underwear and lingerie – I’ve seen the two terms used interchangeably in coverage, and to me there is a very clear distinction. “Underwear” is a utility term for undergarments, and “lingerie” is a sexually-charged term for garments which serve little utility. The real issue is that no matter what we do as women, it continues to be sexualized, and that (generally) male behavior remains unchecked. And even though I know the first rule of the internet – do not read the comments – my curiosity got the better of me. A Google Alert for my name even lead me to an LSU football message board where commenters assigned each of us numbers, ranked us in the order that they’d sleep with us, and other unseemly commentary that doesn’t warrant a mention, further proving my third point….
3. Some men react negatively when faced with confident women who do not conform to their hypersexualized standard of beauty – Being a visible plus size woman is challenging and not for the faint of heart. Skim the comment section of any plus size YouTuber’s most recent video and you’ll see men lashing out. It also happens to me in the street, at Argo Tea, and even on the subway. The mere fact that comments like this continue to persist is precisely why it is so very necessary that we unite in the name of self acceptance, body diversity, and love. The body that you have today is going to be the same body that you have tomorrow, and any changes that you choose to make will only succeed if they are rooted in self love. No amount of shaming, mocking, or snide remarks will change that. Mind ya body, mind ya business.
4. Success truly is when preparation meets opportunity – While the origin of this quote is up for debate, that doesn’t make it any less true. There have been many times that I was on the precipice of something great, only to flub it up. But for this past month, I have been able to successfully follow through with every opportunity that has been presented, further cementing my belief that when it’s your time, everything comes together.

I owe you a debt of gratitude for your continued support, encouragement, and love. Your tweets, comments, and emails have meant more to me than I could possibly express, and they have gotten me through a tough comment (or 10). Not only would this opportunity not have been possible without you, but you gave me the courage to participate. Thank you!!

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