The Party Survival Guide: The Holiday Edition

December is halfway over and that means that we are well into the season of parties. Company holiday parties, parties hosted by family members, friends, and even yourself.

And unlike most of the usual parties, holiday parties enter a whole new zone of rules and guidelines.

Let’s get festive and break this shit down.

DO have a dress code for yourself.

You are going to a party hosted by your company or to a venue hosted by a friend/family member where their other friends, family and possible coworkers will be in attendance. Dress like it. Don’t be the person to get all the looks and comments for the wrong reasons all night.

And if you really have to sit and question whether or not an outfit is appropriate, chances are it is not. If your tits are sitting ready for a party at the Playboy mansion or your Britney is almost out and ready to RSVP that’s a definite no-no.

Save it for the club, girlfriend.

DO have a designated driver on standby.

Even if the intial plan is to play it low and drive yourself back, have a backup just in case things go a drunken route. Better safe than on the wrong side of the freeway.

DO network and socialize.

Chat with some familiar colleagues/friends and mingle with some new ones. If you have business cards, bring them just in case. Leave the reading and gossip at home though.

DON’T talk about work unless asked.

If brought up by someone else, answer and move on. Don’t dwell over situations and conversations that can wait until you’re back on company’s time to discuss. In particular with your boss and/or supervisors. Now is not the time to discuss promotions or your ticket off of the struggle bus.

DO prepare beforehand if you plan on drinking.

You know you’re going to be drinking, prepare for it. Drink nothing but water beforehand, get a good lunch in and even take something like a BC Powder if you know you’re working on a hangover for the following day.

DO treat yourself.

Eat and drink what you want for the night. No one is a robot and everyone is allowed a treat or cheat day once in a while. That dip looks good? Try it. Get some of them tortilla chips too–who cares how many calories it is. Sharon in Marketing made that cake?–slice up a piece–Sharon is fucking awesome, that cake has got to be too. That margarita looks delicious and full of boozy greatness? Get you one, boo.

DO dance dance dance.

It’s a party, so there will be music otherwise you are at some lame shit-act accordingly. Dance! Let some of that hair down and let loose.

DON’T get too loose.

Unless your holiday party is at the strip club, leave all of that to the professionals.

DON’T go overboard on the booze.

This is a holiday party, not Spring Break.

DON’T sit anywhere near the person you don’t really care for.

If you can’t stand them when you are sober, even if you aren’t wasted one drink could give you the liquid courage you’ve been waiting on.

DO excuse yourself if you feel sick.

Okay, so you thought you could handle that shot your boss excitedly bought for his whole department to thank you all for your hard work, and turns out….you couldn’t.

Politely and quickly excuse yourself to the restroom and get yourself back together. Switch to something else lighter or better yet even some water or Sprite. That may be your cue to call it a wrap and officially consider yourself a lightweight.

DON’T spend the entire evening on your phone.

It’s just rude and would make Emily Post turn over in her grave. If the party is that lame, tough it out for a max 30 and peace out.

How To Attend A Whack Holiday Party.

DON’T let them see you sweat.

There’s gonna be at least one person that will show up and act a fool, just make sure it’s not you.

DON’T be THAT PERSON taking the entire tray of food to go.

Unless offered, just don’t.

And the biggest DO, have fun!! The end of the year is almost here, make it good and Happy Holidays!