Confessions – One Hundred and Twenty Three

A lot of people do not understand what it feels like to date a sugardaddy. They are quick to be so negative but oh well that’s them. In my eyes this is what you go through. You feel like you have power over all the girls you know. You feel like when you see your friends dating normal boys their age who give them more stress than joy that at least you have a mature man whom at least knows what he wants good or bad. As a sugarbaby you know your place and he knows his. This is why the relationships work so well. A lot of people sit on the outside and laugh and call us names but I would never trade the tranquillity that comes with dating an older man with utter chaos of lying, cheating, stingy youngling. There is a steady and calming hand that comes with it. Its not even about sex because these old guys are lazy as hell. They love the idea of a flower in hand but they do not always know how to handle it. My aunt once said to me that a poor dick inside you does not make you a better person because clearly you lack wisdom as you will most likely end up in maintenance court if you are lucky enough not to be left pregnant and alone. With a rich guy come what may you have something to stand on should things go south. Standing there looking at Nozipho I was asking myself it was all worth it?

I said bye to Phemulo, got out of his car then I walked into the yard. I stopped and turned around and told Nozipho to lock the gate when she got in because I was going to bed. I did not want Jack especially to see that I had been hurt so I walked like normal. I told myself that I would never give him the satisfaction. I think he was quite surprised by my reaction because he quickly tried to call me back but I walked away as though I had not heard him. I did not have feelings for him so I could not understand why I was so hurt. I fought hard to keep the tears at bay but it stung in the corners of my eyes. I got into the house and went to wash the little bit of make up I had off my face. This was enough to mask the tears. I heard Nozipho enter the house and lock the door. I was not sure how she was going to face me but I was not going to cause a scene. Jack was no longer mine and he was off my back so why be bitter.

She was already down to her bra and panty when I walked in and getting ready for bed. She did not have make up like me so I figure she was just jumping into bed. When I walked in she did not turn back to look at me. She said absolutely nothing. In the police station she had been more than happy to talk to me now she was treating me like she did not know me. No stress. I switched off the lights. When I walked towards the bed I heard my brother crying. I think he was having a nightmare. Why was my mother not attending to him? I decided to go check up on him. His door was slightly open. When I walked in and switched on the line light I panicked a little bit. My mother was not there! Had she left again. She had been sleeping with my little brother! O No, I screamed out loud in my head! Immediately I ran towards my parents door. As I did so the door for the main bedroom opened and out stepped my mother! The relief on my face and in me! I jumped into her hands. She asked what was going on and I told her that when I did not find her I thought she had run away again. After I said that those words just felt stupid in my mouth even though it was the truth. She just said I must not be ridiculous and went to check up on my brother. So my mother had moved back from herself imposed exile and was back in the main bedroom! Did this mean everything was back to normal with my father? I crossed my fingers and hoped so. Back in the room the traitor Nozipho was fast asleep already or maybe she was just pretending I don’t know. Either way I had nothing to say to her. I was even considering not telling her about the HIV scare that Jack had. That would teach her not to be so greedy. On that thought I passed out.

Very early in the morning around 5am my father woke us up and said it was time to get ready to go to Sebos place. I had been having such a nice dream so that was not welcome at all. My mother did not wake up meaning she was not going. I supported her on that but my father seemed to be grumpy about it. It was also decided that my little brother should stay. This therefore was going to be just Nozipho and me. I was relieved though because I knew it would cause less drama.

When we got to her house there were already a few people there. She stayed a bit far from me. Even though the gate was open there were some people standing there. I take it that it was her relatives. They started shouting saying that my father and ourselves should not go in. It was so scary.

The man talking the most had a knobkerrie and was screaming at the top of his lungs accusing my father of abandoning his sister for suikiri (sugar).

Another woman also joined in and started saying that one of the girls in the car must be the daughter of the witch who gave my father the love portion and that she must be beaten up. She said Sebo had been fine until she decided to make contact with that family again and look at what had happened? Beat them up she screamed again and this time the men listened!

Say what?

The crowd was actually growing and they were looking ominous large as they surrounded my fathers car!

These plaas japies were going to kill us!

I started crying and asked my father to reverse so we could leave but at this stage we had already been surrounded. He could not.

Someone starting shaking the car!

I was so scared at this stage and Nozipho was crying!

****The End****

@diaryofazulugal
Mikeatdiary
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

I am 26 and have been with my 30year old boyfriend for 5years. We have a beautiful relationship. My parents know him and I am know to theirs. My problem is he has not proposed yet. I want to get married and start a family but he does not seem to have that sense of urgency. I keep reminding him and he is getting very sensitive on the matter. It annoys him when I bring it up. He says he will do it when he is ready but I am afraid I can’t wait forever.

Please advise me before I make a huge mistake.

Thank You

Thobeka