Vogue Sewing Patterns: Spring 2014

I know, I’m a couple weeks late on the new Vogue sewing patterns. I almost didn’t bother writing a review up- mostly because I think the majority of the styles are kind of meh. Like, not even good enough to poke fun at. However, there are also quite a few patterns that I actually really like and you best believe I’ll be hollering at them during the next $3.99 sale. So, while negative reviews are much more funny – let’s give credit where credit is due, yes?

Vogue 1398
A little twee with the scallops, but it’s still pretty cute. I think it would look especially nice if the bodice and skirt were in different fabrics, so it looked like a skirt top set.

Vogue 1393
LOVE. THIS. Go look at the line drawing – wouldn’t this be awesome in navy and white cotton sateen? Or even chambray and white bastiste, if you wanted to keep it super casual.

Vogue 1395
Pretty! I even like the fabric they used – which is a first.

Vogue 9000
Vogue gets an A on the styling here.

Vogue 8998
GIRL YES.

Vogue 8997
YES AGAIN.

Vogue 9005
NO NO NO NO NO.

Vogue 8996
I’m starting to hate this woman because I’m pretty sure she looks good in everything.

Vogue 8994
lololol omg you guys, she ~busted out of the background~ here

Vogue 9001
This is really pretty and I want it.

Vogue 8993
I think I want this one too.

Vogue 1399
You know those mudflaps they put behind the tires of semi trucks? This dress has waist mudflaps. Someone should applique a naked lady lounging on each one.

Vogue 1390
Not too crazy about the photos here, but I could see this pattern having a lot of good potential.

Vogue 1392
You know it’s a bad pattern when the model has to contort her body to hold the shoulders up for the photo.

VOgue 1394
The potato sack with a belt!

Vogue 1396
Vogue: STILL trying to make the danglies happen.

Vogue 1402
This has got to be one of those most unflattering silhouettes I’ve seen Vogue push on a model lately.

Vogue 1397
Or maybe this one. Cute pattern, bad fabric choice. What the hell did they use – curtains?

Vogue 1400
The peek-a-boo facing is a nice touch.

Vogue 1401
I’m just going to ignore the worst of this and say: Oh, look. More danglies.

Vogue 1403
I’m merely posting this because I am fascinated by the sudden change in background.

Vogue 9003
Do you think that model is high? She looks high to me. Probably trying to numb the pain of wearing that… thing.

Vogue 9016
2005 called, they want their useless shrugs back.

Vogue 9009
I get that it’s part of the style lines, but the darts where the lapels should be just look like they are lapels that got pushed up by the wind and I want to push them back down.

Vogue 9013
I take back everything I just said about the lapels.

Vogue 9004
That crooked neckline looks like a mistake.

Vogue 9012
Wait, are these supposed to be pajamas or something you actually wear in public?

Vogue 9015
And there she is again! JUST GO BE PERFECT SOMEWHERE ELSE, GAH.

What do you think? See anything that strikes your fancy in this batch?