Stupid Technology That You Don’t Want or Need: Instagram sunglasses and a GIF taking camera
The world is full of great and amazing inventions, things that wow the mind and blow the senses. And then come the not so amazing, those that give pause, make one think ‘eh, and simply seem like a wonderful way to blow a lot of resources. That’s what I’m celebrating now, the many odd and surreal parts of technology that we really *might* have been better off without.
The Ten Lens
What is it: Think of these as Instagram sunglasses, shades that let you see the world through a variety of rose colored filters.
Why: Why let real life get you down? Why not view it all through pretty tinted lenses, that makes everything slightly saccharine and glowy? Who needs to reminisce over old times when every day has an old-timey feel. Yes, this is basically exactly what actual tinted sunglasses do, but these are “Tens Lens” sunglasses so it’s totally different. Seriously, the creators say that, “Whilst typical sunglasses block out the light with desaturated, cold colors; Tens work with the warmth of the sun to lend an uplifting tint to the world beyond the lens.” Absolutely not the same thing (insert eye-roll).
And that’s why you should pay 60 bucks for them through their Indiegogo campaign, instead of ten dollars at H&M for a pair you lose the same day.
Otto, the camera that takes only GIFS
What is it: This is a camera built with Raspberry Pi that can capture GIF’s – not pictures. Yes, you can GIF away with a snap and a crank and be ready for Meme heaven.
Why? You love Gifs. I love Gifs.The world loves Gifs. We crack up over Gifs all the timer- heck GIFs are continually one of the most popular and growing subreddits on Reddit, the internet purveyor of what’s cool for the modern disenfranchised moody hipster. Why should you have to painstakingly create a GIF in Photoshop or manually DIY it with one of the zillion free GIF makers out there? What a drag! Why not capture a GIF in one go with a camera that’s designed for your needs?
The Otto camera features a rotating crank that captures an insta-GIF, not an instaPic and shares it with your cellphone.. so you can share it with the world. Now that’s good symbiosis, right? The camera is adaptable as the creators have built in capabilities for add on accessories, including a an Arduino-powered flash bulb that can be triggered to capture GIFs when it detects certain actions, for example they say it can “trigger the camera (for actions) like a totally badass high-five.” I mean you could just use a GIF making app on your phone, but then you’d totally lose camera carrying “cool” credentials right?
It will cost around $199 for Gifster hipsters everywhere.
Chocolate with sparkly holograms
What is it? Simply put, why eat plain boring milk chocolate when you could eat chocolate that evokes a multi-sensory experience, displaying holograms that beam at you from each tasty square. Sugar technology = delicious. Maybe.
Why? Swiss company Morphotonix wanted to be more than just a creator of delicious Swiss chocolates. To make every bite count that extra bit more they implemented custom made holographs into their new sweets. Creating holographs on chocolate is difficult because of the texture, so this process involved a lot of research and obviously, taste testing. So how does it work? Well the New Scientist reports that this is created by “carving a microscopic pattern into a master mold.” The end result is similar to holograms on credit cards, using small indentations on the surface to diffract the light to create the holographic effect. End result is chocolate that has an extra visual element.. for the whole 5 seconds before you stuff it into your mouth. Totally worth it.
Sleevely, the Bluetooth enabled milk bottle tracker for your baby
What is it? Sleevely is a milk bottle sheath that’s Bluetooth enabled. It monitors when (and if) baby has a drink and syncs this with the app.
Why? Having a baby is hard work. There’s sleeping, feeding, burping, resigning yourself to eight months of sweatpants.. it sounds tough. What do all new parents want then, why, something else added to their to-do list. Sleevely happily fills the spot where they have to much time on their hands by helping them feel like the best parents ever by micro-managing their babes milk intake. Forget knowing you’ve fed the little one ‘cos your boobs are empty and sore, now the Sleevely app (with associated milk bottle sleeve) can track just how often baby got a drink, and means you can focus on things like using that breast pump.
For those who want to feel extra inadequate, Sleevely will even compare how your baby feeds to other babies, so you know if yours is a slow sucking Sally or a munchy Matt from the get go. Hey, life is hard, better start them competing soon, right? Sleevely said that, “One of every four babies suffer from eating difficulties that require mandatory nutrition monitoring,” and what’s a better monitor than a mobile phone app? (if you remembered to charge your phone that is.)
(Disclaimer: Not a parent. If parents out there think this is the bees knees I’m open to being explained just why that is.)
