I’m not a bitch, I’m PMSing

Remember when they used to say PMS was only in a woman’s imagination? What ass—- came up with that theory? Obviously, you can tell I’m PMSing right now. Anyhoo, I would like to talk about some things I’ve learned about PMS that are actually beneficial, so the next time your boobs start to hurt, you won’t dread the fact that PMS has begun.

1. You burn more calories!

Some reports have said that PMS causes your metabolism to speed up, which is why we are so hungry during it — and sometimes, we’re burning up to 500 more calories per day. If you want to lose weight, don’t eat more than usual during PMS and you’ll lose more than water after your period. You can lose some extra chunk that was on your trunk because you got an extra 500 calories of fat-burn during PMS.

2. Your boobs are bigger!

OK, for those that don’t want bigger boobs, it’s not a perk. But for the A-cups out there, I know you are loving filling out your Victoria’s Secret bra that week.

3. Taking care of business!

A wise guru once told me that the reason we might lash out during PMS is because we bottle up our emotions, so by the time PMS rolls around, it enhances what it is we need to work on. This is a GREAT time to resolve issues that you are avoiding — but instead of lashing out, practice a new approach. Try confronting people that irk you with your normal voice instead of yelling at them. My sister JoJo calls it her “murder death ball.” When she feels the churning in her stomach, she stops herself from beating that person up with her purse now. (Well … let’s just say she’s still practicing this concept.)

What are some other positive things that you could share about your own PMS experiences? Refrain from saying, “I’ve never run my husband over with my car … yet” as a positive thing, even though we all have imagined it at least once during PMS.