Living with a chef might make me a vegetarian

As I’ve mentioned before, Jared is a chef and as such, he enjoys bringing home tidbits from work. This is very sweet and cave mannish of him (hunter gatherer, bring home the bacon, etc) and probably saves me from starvation, since exhibit A tells you just how often I go grocery shopping (you can’t see the door, it’s where I keep my essentials- milk and…some yogurt.)

But what disturbs me about this setup is the fact that I will occasionally come home to an unknown source of flesh residing in my fridge (the Target bag). In the last two months, I’ve learned not to look in the bags unless I want to gag, because the flesh will be in varying states of bloodiness, and I just can’t handle it.

Now you might be saying, “OMG get over it, it’s free meat”, but shut your pie hole because I’m pretty sure you would be grossed out too. Especially since I never know just how long this flesh is going to last sitting in the fridge. Am i supposed to do something with this? Do we have plans to take the flesh over to my parents, since the bag weighs enough that I guess it could feed my entire apartment building?

I’ve tried suggesting freezing the meat, but no Chef Jared likes his meat fresh and so we avoid freezing at all costs.

Notice the questionable stain on the bottom left side of the fridge? That would be from where the bloody flesh leaked into my fridge. When I called Jared to ask him about said flesh, his response was, “oh ya, just go ahead and dump that, and whatever other meat is in there”. Oh so nonchalantly.

All this to say, think I might be going vegetarian. I just don’t know if I can handle all this…handling of flesh. Especially when it comes in bloody Target bags. Notice the giant bag of carrots and brussels sprouts on the middle shelf? I could last for WEEKS on those brussels sprouts…and all the cereal I have in the pantry.

This probably doesn’t bode well for our future goal of owning land where Jared would raise his own food and I’d be the official Animal Namer and win an award for Best Wifi on a Farm.

*after i wrote this blog post, i dumped all the meat out and scrubbed my fridge down with a mixture of bleach and acid. My eyes are burning like hades but my fridge is clean!*