Lessons in love

I wish there was a class in school dedicated to learning how to love in the highest form. Many confuse love with negative emotions, like jealousy. “If my partner is worried about me, that means he loves me.” That’s not love. Some confuse love with possession and control. “I love you … so you have to do what I say.” True love does not manipulate. True love doesn’t want anything in return. Personalities do.

Here are a few ways to make sure you are always loving in the highest form:

Be conscious. Be aware of your decisions and how they affect people you love. Be mindful with your words and actions. Think about the consequences to your partner if you acted out of love in any way.

Be vulnerable. No one wants to be with a cocky person. When you open your heart and allow your partner to see your wounds, you grow closer in love, and in return, heal past wounds.

Be transparent. I love this word and its meaning. It means being honest and having clear communication with your partner. If you are having an insecure moment about your relationship, or any issue for that matter, communicate the specific issue to your partner. This is where many relationships go south, because we tend to create drama in a completely different area than the one that’s really bothering us. It’s also important to hear your partner when they are being transparent, instead of reacting out of frustration.

Don’t past-project. Many times we bring past issues into our next relationships because we’ve become conditioned to them. Remember that your partner is not an ex-lover. Don’t assume they will do the same things or you will never be free. The only reason to ever go back to the past is to heal it and then return to the present moment. Otherwise, not only will you bring the past with you, you will up it a few notches until you finally learn from it.

Love yourself. There is no higher form of love than this. You can’t love another until you love yourself. You can do this by doing things you love to do, taking care of your health and checking in with yourself to see if you are happy. If you aren’t, then it’s up to you to fix it, because it’s not your partner’s job. It’s yours.

Hope this recipe on how to love in the highest form helps. Now, go do some lovin’!