wedding fever

Last weekend, Bob and I went to his friend May’s wedding.

The event was just beautiful. The Manor (in West Orange, NJ) was so gorgeously fancy. Really made you feel like you were attending an extra classy affair. We enjoyed ourselves and I loved getting to see bits of traditional Chinese culture thrown into the ceremony and reception.

Being at the wedding gave me serious wedding fever (as weddings tend to do). Recently, Bob and I have been discussing our own wedding plans in earnest and I’ve learned that we have very different ideas of what we want ours to be. I’d love something intimate: get hitched at City Hall and then have a small gathering at a nice restaurant with a few of our closest family and friends. Good food, good laughs, good people. That’s all I really need.

I also have a hard time wrapping my brain around spending more than a few thousand dollars for one day. That’s partly why an intimate get-together appeals so much to me.

But Bob would love something bigger. He doesn’t want to leave anyone out of the equation, so his idea would be a banquet hall to fit both his and my family and friends which totals to approximately 130 people. He wants a high-quality selection of food, a space for dancing and an open bar. These are his must-haves. He’s concluded that this other expenses will set us back over $10,000. In my opinion, it’ll easily be over $10,000. Perhaps closer to $20,000.

In an ideal situation where money is no object, I’d say, hell with it! Let’s do this thing grand! I want the Kleinfeld experience! I’d love to have our families celebrate with us. I was talking to Bob’s friend at the wedding who’s in the middle of planning her own wedding and she told me, “I finally decided to give in to a big celebration because there is never going to be another time in our lives where we will plan something of this caliber with our families and friends all in one room. That means something to me”. I get that. I’m not one for being the center of attention, but there’s something really nice about a bunch of people coming together to celebrate something monumentally joyous in your life. It’s a way of shouting from the rooftops, “I love this person and we’re going to be together forever!” Plus, it’s FUN. Large weddings are fun! But the more practical part of me still can’t help but think, we need to play this thing smart and cheap.

Right now, we’re at a point where one of us is trying to convince the other that our idea is best. We’re not officially engaged, but after eight years together, the topic of a wedding and marriage comes up frequently. Long ago, we both agreed that it would happen eventually and since we felt committed to each other already, there wasn’t any rush. Now that we’ve been together for so long, “eventually” is a lot closer. Both of us acknowledge the legal benefits that come along with marriage (romantic, right?), but we also recognize that, hey, maybe it’s time to start thinking about this thing already…for us.

So that’s where we’re at right now. We’re in our “thinking” and “dicussing our options” stages. There’s lots of compromising to be done. Either that or I’ll find ways to make my idea sound more and more appealing to him