I Tried That 36 Questions That Lead to Love Experiment And…

In the 12 hours after that New York Times Modern Love blog came out about the 36 questions that can make you fall in love with anyone, ten people sent the article to me. Basically the premise is this: You’re supposed to meet with a stranger, ask each other this list of questions – which are grouped into three sets – and then stare lovingly into one another’s eyes for four whole minutes. (You can blink – I think?) Twenty years ago, psychologist Arthur Aron put two straight people in a room in a lab, had them ask each other these questions, do the whole creepy stare-thing, and six months later they were married. (Wow!)

I was intrigued enough to try it myself.

I went through my recent Tinder matches and selected a few gentlemen I’d actually be interested in meeting in person (not just the ones that I swiped “right” on under the influence of wine). After a few matches, a tall, normal-seeming dude responded and was up for the challenge. Before we met, we promised not to look over the questions, so apart from when I first read the article, I didn’t take a peek. For obvious reasons – and three years of pretty ridiculous dating in New York – I was excited to see if something so seemingly simple could work.

But when I saw him walking up to the coffee shop for our date, I knew instantly I wasn’t attracted to him. Per the usual rules of online dating, 6-foot-tall meant 5’9”. And the broad shoulders that appeared in photos, shrunk in person. But probably the biggest disappointment was his voice: it wasn’t sexy or manly or even the voice I wanted to hear for the next two hours, much less the rest of my life.

But I had committed to trying the experiment, so with visions of magical questions turning an ‘okay’ guy into The One for me, we begun the inquisition:

To find out how the experiment went… check out the rest of the post on YourTango.

It’s that time of year again! Write a self-love letter to yourself and you could win something pretty amazing.


Filed under: Dating Tagged: being single, being single in nyc, Dating, faith, finding love, Hope, Love, Marriage, the one
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