How to deal with criticism || Monday Confessions

Being a blogger certainly brings many bonuses, besides doing the job you most definitely love and having many rewards from it, you still have to deal with every day criticism, good and bad. The more successful your blog is, more negative comments you will receive, but rest assured, positive ones too. Why is that you might think? The more comments you get, there different opinions you might encounter, and that is just simply a great thing, it means that you are reaching masses of people, and getting different feedback is simply part of this job. If you are a person that doesn't like being criticised maybe you should reconsider blogging. Its certainly part of the job, and from time to time it wont be only an input on how to do something but also pure judging or hate. Latter one I won't really be talking about in this post, as my philosophy is never to give significance to things that are not bringing any good to our community. No matter if you are a blogger or not, human beings are exposed to criticism regularly, and I wanted to address that in this Monday Confessions post. Does it really matter who said it or what was said and all of the things like that. But let me bring you 10 years back in time, and tell you my story on dealing with criticism. "I don't know the key to success but the key to failure is trying to please everybody". When I was a teenager I really wanted everybody to like me. In school, at home, I wanted to please everyone, good grades and helping friends was usually the way to do it. But no matter how hard I tried there were still people who would be horrible and rude to you even when you are the nicest to them. That is when I realised you can't please everyone. Being a very sensitive person I didn't deal very well with criticism. I started flushing, and feeling hot cheeks when people criticise how I do stuff and what I say, mainly for two reasons. First reason is because I realise that this is something they have been thinking about. Like if they say I don't like how you did this and how you often do that it means that its something ongoing and that would make me feel uncomfortable. Second thing that used to make me blush would be the fact that I wouldn't know what to say, do you apologise, do you argue, when you get a compliment you say thank you, but what do you say for criticism? I would say thank you as well. Opening a blog thought me a lot of stuff, but when it comes to criticism I really learned how to make the most out of it. Criticism is fabulous, its better than compliments, because it makes you realise how to improve. But Criticism is only valuable when it comes from person that CAN criticise. There is a reason why they quote only reputable sources of criticism on book covers. So a teacher, someone who knows how it should be done, in fashion world I love taking criticism from other bloggers, people who have achieved a lot, even normal people because I like to see how its all perceived by them, but then I decide how and if I will take it on board. In life I advice you to do the same. Nowadays I am being judged everywhere I go. Even though we know we really shouldn't judge people its something we do without thinking. Labelling people as too fat, too skinny, uneducated, lazy, spoiled, and all those other things we like labelling people just because we feel like we can are the same reasons that back fire on us to make us feel worse later on, because they allow other people to judge us too. Like I said once before before you judge someone else try imagining what is it like for them, what is their life like, and weather you would do better in their situation. I used to think that there are things I would never do, that there are things I would never say, but trust me I did do them when the situation had arisen. Once I realised how easy it is to make mistakes in life I stopped judging others so much and realised that you really can not judge people if you don't know that you would do it better yourself. The more you get criticised the more you learn to take it. Of course, being criticised all the time is unacceptable, but if you take all of those constructive critiques as advices on how to improve you will constantly be seeing a better version of your self. Let the hateful and spiteful comments just go past you like most irrelevant things and learn to take both compliments and critiques with a smile and a big thank you- that is when life becomes easier and you become a better person. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Biti bloger donosi mnoge beneficije i osim sto se bavim poslom koji zaista volim, takodje moram da se nosim sa svakodnevnom kritikom sto losom sto dobrom. Sto je vas blog uspesniji primicete vise negativnih komentara, ali isto tako i pozitivnih. Zasto je to tako? Sto vise komentara dobijate i dopirete do sirih narodnih masa suocicete se i sa razlicitijim misljenjima. Razlicita misljenja su jednostavno deo svakog posla. Ukoliko ste osoba koja ne voli da prima kritiku, posavetovala bih vas da razmislie da li zelite zaista da se upustite u blogovanje. Kritika je veliki deo ovog posla i ponekad ne samo ona konstruktiva vez i bezrazlozno osudjivanje i hejtovanje. Ovo poslednje nije danasnja tema, jer generalno ne volim da dajem vaznost stvarima koje ne smatram da idu u prilog nasoj zajednici. Bez obzira da li ste bloger ili ne, mislim da vam ova tema moze biti poznata sa drugih strana. Ljudska bica su izlozena raznim kritikama svakodnevno i ja sam zelela tome da posvetim ceo post i kazem kako ja gledam na to. Da li je zaista bitno ko je rekao ili sta je rekao? Vraticu se na to, ali prvo otplovimo 10 godina unazad kada sam imala 15 godina i drugacije gledala na kritiku svog okruzenja. "Ne znam kljuc uspeha, ali znam da je kljuc neuspeha konstantan trud da zadovoljite sve". Kada sam bila tinejdzer zaista mi je bilo stalo da se dopadnem svakom i da ljudi imaju pozitivno misljenje o meni, imala sam dobre ocene i pomagala svima oko sebe. Ipak koliko god se trudila ljudima se to nije uvek dopadalo, neki bi bili nekulturni i bezobrazni bas zato sto sam ja bila dobra i onda sam shvatila dama kako god se ponasala neko ce naci manu. S obzirom da sam veoma emotivna osoba nisam se najbolje nosila sa kritikom. Zacrvenela bih se, obrazi bi mi goreli i to uglavnom zbog dva razloga. Prvi razlog je jer bih shvatila da je to nesto o cemu su oni dugo razmisljali. Ako kritikuju nesto sto se desilo pre par nedelja ili obrazloze da vec dugo posmatraju vase ponasanje, znaci da ta osoba koja do sada nistanije rekla sve vreme razmislja o tome. To licemerje bi me pogodilo, ali drugi razlog bio je uglavnom to sto ne bih znala kako da odgovorim, da li izvinjenjem, da li raspravom,kada dobijete kompliment kazete hvala, ali sta kazete kada primite kritiku? Rekla bih opet hvala. Pisanje bloga me je naucilo mnogim stvarima, ali sto se tice kritike, naucila sam kako da izvucem maksimum iz nje. Kritika je fenomenalna, sta vise bolja od komplimenata, jer vam pomaze da uvidite kako jos vise da se popravite. Ali kritika je vazna samo kada dolazi iz izvora koji MOZE da kritikuje. Postoji razlog zasto na njige stavljaju citate velikih kriticara, zato sto je njihovo misljenje bitno i cenjeno. Dakle profesori, roditelji, ljudi koji znaju kako se to radi, kolege...u modnom svetu najradije primam kritiku od drugih blogera, ljudi koji su mnogo postigli ili normalnih ljudi koji se ne bavi modom jer me interesuje njihovo misljenje iz skroz drugog ugla, ali onda odlucim do cijeg misljenja mi je najvise stalo jer se ova misljenja nikada ne podudaraju. U zivotu vas savetujem da uradite isto. U 21.veku ljudi nas osudjuju gde god da odemo. Iako znamo da je osudjivanje drugih zaista nesto negativno i koliko god se trudili da to ne radimo, nekako nam dolazi prirodno. Stavljamo etikete naljude da su predebeli, premrsavi, neobrazovani, lenji, razmazeni i jos mnogo toga, samo zato sto mislimo da imamo pravo na to, zato sto dozvoljavamo sebi da budemo kriticari iako mozda ne znamo sve o toj osobi. Osudjivanje drugih je isto ono zbog cega se mi kasnije osecamo lose, jer drugim ljudima daje pravo da osudjuju nas. Vec sam jednom rekla pre, ali pre nego sto donesete sud o nekome, probajte da zamislite sebe u njegovoj kozi, sa svim njegovim situacijama i zivotnim uslovima, nemojte samo reci "Ja bih smrsala da sam na tvom mestu", vec razmislite da li biste zaista postupili bolje u njihovoj situaciji. Photos via Pinterest

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