Blindsided with a Broken Heart: When you lose a love you thought you had forever

This is for Linda, I hope you like and hang in there girl!

You can also listen to the podcast version of this article.

When you go through a devastating experience like being broken up with or cheated on or betrayed and left by someone you thought was going to be your other half for the rest of your life, it can be uprooting to everything in your world. Shaking the foundation of what you want, how you feel about yourself and the future, what you feel safe with – who you feel safe with, what you believe to be true. Aside the expected affects (the pain, the mourning, the loneliness) this kind of experience can have some very strange effects because when you’re taken by surprise by something like a relationship, it’s traumatic. You have been shocked and therefore a change of perspective has begun. I will try to tackle some of the common feelings you might be experiencing so you can see that hopefully see that you’re not crazy, it’s all quite normal. I will also hopefully offer you a rough timeline for the healing process to come so that you can best care for yourself so you can heal and grow.

Part 1: What you might be feeling now.

If it’s a long-term relationship – or even a short one but one you relied on in immense ways, the loss can make you feel you have nothing to stand on. In short, it can level you and remove all safety from your life.

If you are suffering at a time like this in your life – you might be going through worry over what will come of your life – will you remarry? Will you ever love again, trust again? Are you loveable? Am I too old, am I stupid to have trusted this person? Was I the only one who didn’t know – how didn’t I know? What’s wrong with me that I didn’t see this coming? How do I even move on with love?

Woah. Yeah, that’s a lot. So slow down. It’s going to be okay. Right now you’ve got to put that aside. Now is not the time that you should be thinking about the future. You should simply focus on loving and caring for you, now. And improving the strength and brightness of your world. How could you possibly imagine anything from a place like this? Truly, how could you tackle planning anything other than addressing your immediate needs – you just experienced a traumatic event in your life and you’re in a recovery/healing mode – that’s what you need to be aware of. What do you need – right now – is make yourself feel soothed and healthy and balanced.

Part 2: Why am I feeling this way?

If you’re going through a total limbo of character and it’s freaking you out, here are a couple of common reactions that happen when one is put through a trauma such as yours. And yes, it’s a trauma- which means your person is likely having a time of it – integrating it back into your brain alongside the rest of your experiences.

The post This would probably be Dwight Schrute’s favorite beet salad appeared first on HelloGiggles.