Apathy

I’ve never seen myself as particularly idealistic. I am not an activist. I don’t usually go to demonstrations either. And while I follow politics, I am not politically active (though I’ve been contemplating). I know that the world sucks and that it’s very hard to change. Global political decisions are made behind closed doors and are based on things far more complex than the media makes us believe. Changing people’s minds and getting rid of obsolete stereotypes can take decades.

Which is why I decided to start on a smaller scale – something I have an influence on: ME. I’m starting to realise now that even all that self-improvement bullshit I used to be into was at least pointing in the same direction: starting small first. Starting with yourself. I know I can’t change the world radically myself and I don’t intend to. But I can constantly question my beliefs, stand up for the most basic human rights and more importantly, stop ignoring the toxic bullshit that’s spewed out all around me and SAY something. DO something. I am very lucky. I am able to choose my friends and I usually surround myself with people who are like me. But just because the things that shock me and almost make me lose my faith in humanity don’t happen among my friends, they still happen among us: Racism, sexism, discrimination, misogyny… the list is endless.

I just can’t be quiet anymore when things like that happen around me. When someone justifies questionable standards of female beauty with “well, it’s what men find attractive”. When someone of my generation and in my vague circle of friends votes conservative, uses the word “nigger” freely to talk about people of colour, believes homosexual couples shouldn’t be allowed to be parents and is unfamiliar with the definition of the world “privilege”. When people think blackfacing is okay because it’s “just a costume”.

And the response? “Yeah, the world is bad but you’re not gonna change it just like that.” Or “Well, you can be against that but it’s just how it is.” Or “It’s never gonna change. It’s the media.” And even though I’m probably not any better myself and I’m only just waking up to the fact that I just can’t take it anymore – every time this happens to me I realise how much this fucking apathy makes me sick. I always thought I wasn’t idealistic.

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