Happy Snowday, Mother Chuckers!

I don’t know about you but I won hard last night when, just before the grand closing of my neighborhood deli, I secured the last two bags of almond M&Ms, which went on to hold my stomach over through episode 6 of Sex and the City, season 4 and in that moment, I swear I was infinite.

That I stole a lyric from The Perks of Being a Wallflower (yes, movie — and yes, lyric) to execute a comment on my being so fundamentally female is either an enormous coup or terrible loss depending on where you fall on the spectrum. Where you fall, of course, is something only you know, so while you contemplate your positioning, I will makeshift a list of five things for you to do today because your office is closed, your fridge is empty and as Louis C.K. loves to remind us that we’re all alone and we’re going to die.

Amelia says if I want to keep the above sentence in this post, I have to soften the blow with this: “I’m kidding, you’re going to party.” So: I’m kidding! You’re going to party! Here’s how.

To Watch: You’re going to watch Paul McCartney defy the laws of mortality in one more successful attempt to Benjamin Button in real life (the first included just one emblem of seasoned youth: Kanye West) with the help of Rihanna, the anterior West and a collaborative track called “FourFiveSeconds.” Also of note is the abundant denim on all three bodies as evidenced by the track art.

To Eat: If you’re hungry, play this fun game called Yes I Have a Blender. In it, you are expected to cull all the weird ingredients you still have between your fridge and cabinets, throw them into a blender and then drink what comes out of them. I tried this today and here’s what, in addition to The Best Hair Day Ever, I ended up with:

In there you’ll find: a bouquet of six day old kale, half a lemon, a handful of rock-hard goji berries, ground cinnamon, which I’m pretty sure my mother-in-law bought for me when I moved in three years ago, one ice cube, three slices of mango (date of expiration unknown), a banana peel, a date, a handful of cashews, love and passion.

To Use in a Sentence: The word “agastopia,” which means love of a particular body part. I don’t know if one can be agastopic about the creases in the back of their knees, but I also don’t see why not.

To Contemplate: When will you supplant your handbag for a watering pot? Karl Lagerfed presented Chanel’s Spring 2015 couture collection today in Paris and it opened with a human, male version of The Wizard of Oz’s scarecrow dressed in a khaki denim vest plus matching capri jorts. He’s holding a mint green quilted watering pot.

Images shot by Milo Keller & Julien Gallico for L’Officiel December 2010