you don't always have to be strong.

i try extremely hard to be the strong tough one. showing no weakness or vulnerability. but sometimes, just sometimes i can't help it. with the medications i take, if i go off of them for too long it literally turns me into an emotional wreck. well, the past few weeks i've been off my meds.

normally i can handle criticism. i can take a verbal lashing. i can deal with it. but today is just one of those days where it's one thing after the other that is breaking me down bit by bit. i can't always be tough. i can't always handle the criticism. sometimes i take what they have to say, go back to my office and all i want to do is curl up under my desk, turn on my music and disappear from the world.

unfortunately, this is not an option. i work in an extremely professional environment and i have to put my feelings on hold. i have to be tough, showing no weakness or vulnerability. i hold my head high and smile.

but it's times like this that it reminds me, it's ok to be vulnerable. it's ok to feel and show a little weakness. after all, we are human, not robots. all i can do for now is take big deep breaths, remember my strengths and let go of what i cannot control.