A Tale of Two Captions

Last week's front page cartoon in The Westmorland Gazette was a tad unusual.
Due to mysterious influences from beyond our galaxy, the cartoon appeared without its caption, giving it a zen-like quality which baffled millions of readers across the globe. Angry tweets were tweeted, grown men were seen openly sobbing in the streets and questions were asked in Parliament.
Here is how it appeared:

Compare this with the glory days of 21 March 1986 when the following cartoon appeared in response to Kentucky Fried Chicken opening in Kendal:

A veritable essay. And the cartoon was bigger. But then so was the newspaper and it came out on Friday … (all letters on that subject to the editor of the newspaper).
You can see the real caption for last week's cartoon on my website here.
This gives a unique opportunity to have An Exciting Blog Competition.
The best alternative caption entered in the comments below will WIN TWO FREE TICKETS to one of the opening events for the International Comic Art Festival on 18 October.

The event is a talk by Ed Brubaker and Kurt Busiek, two of the USA's top comic book writers. It's a unique opportunity to hear award-winning writers discuss their work.
Full details here.
Add your caption in the comments below and I'll judge the one I think is best.

And don't forget that I will be running two Family Cartoon Workshops during the International Comic Art Festival. Details here.
COMPETITION RULES:
No alternative prizes will be given. No correspondence will be entered into. It may be possible to bribe the judge but be warned that my expectations are high.
Tickets to be collected from The Brewery Arts Centre, Kendal. Closing date for entry is midday, Thursday 17 October (UK Earth time).